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If you asked my 12th grade English teacher if she ever thought I would write a book, she would probably say “there’s a better chance Paul will be a backup dancer for Kevin Federline.” But time, experience, and great proofreaders can change everything.

It’s Complicated: But It Doesn’t Have To Be is my first book. Two years in the making, the 300+ page piece, includes every bit of compelling research and advice I’ve heard, read, and then successfully implemented with one of my 400 clients and my marriage of 12 years (Jill, if you’re reading this, yes, you’re the best guinea pig in the world…well, you’re not a pig…but you know what I’m saying).

I Wrote This Book For…When I sat down to write this, I first thought about the fact that most “relationship” books are laser focused at women (and how sad that is). I get the economics of selling things (I went to business school) but the bottom line is we ALL need relationship help (even me as a professional). So I first thought about how I could present subjects that resonated with both women and men.

Next, I thought about evergreen content. Don’t you hate when you pick up a book written just last year and 90% of what you read is outdated. Yeah, it sucks! Now, when I was pondering this second theme of being evergreen is when I had an epiphany. I glanced down at a photo of my son on my iPhone…BINGO! I thought, I should write this book for him! Well, not for him at this exact moment because he’s only a toddler and much prefers reading anything with Chuck & Friends in it, BUT when he becomes age appropriate, this could be my gift to him. It could be a guide for him to use in his exploration and dating stages and a reference to help him sustain a strong committed relationship.

As I’m only recently a father, one of the biggest changes for me in my entry to fatherhood was this desire to make sure I give my son as many options as possible, while at the same time arming him with a base of knowledge to make decisions. After all, life is about choices, and those choices create our reality.

Don’t Be A Bystander…If you feel like a bystander watching your life events unfold in a random fashion, especially as it relates to your relationships (platonic or romantic), this book is for you. I want to empower you with what I’ve learned so that you can recognize and make deliberate choices. Best of all, you can give it to your kids when they’re of age.

Some Recent Reviews of It’s Complicated (But It Doesn’t Have To Be)

“It’s Complicated (But It Doesn’t Have to Be) is as relevant to those seeking love as it is to people who have already found it. This is a great tool for both men and women, and is a terrific refresher course for those of us in committed relationships.” – LISA LING, Award-Winning Journalist and Bestselling Author

“Ladies, Paul is as sensitive as he is profound about his insightful approach to  manifesting a happy and long lasting relationship. As a husband, father, and advocate for love and the WORK it takes to keep it, his experienced advice stems from wanting everyone to find true happiness. It’s Complicated is a book for anyone seeking love.” – VICTORIA ROWELL, Award-Winning Actress and New York Times Bestselling Author

“There are very few books out there that offer love advice for both women and men. It’s complicated (but it doesn’t have to be) is one of them, and is the best I’ve read so far. Ladies, buy this for the men in your life. Gents, pick this up and heed Paul’s wisdom. You won’t regret it.” -EMIL WILBEKIN, Editor-at-Large, ESSENCE

“As a professional matchmaker, I’ve read hundreds of dating books. This one is actually unique; I believe it will help singles quickly find true love with this powerful message. I strongly recommend it!” – RACHEL GREENWALD, New York Times bestselling author


To order your copy of It’s Complicated (But It Doesn’t Have To Be) click here!