I had the honor of attending a beautiful wedding for a client this past weekend. Every wedding I’ve attended has its unique aspects and this one was no different.
At a certain point in the ceremony, the MC asked all of the married couples in attendance to stand and give the newlyweds advice on how to build a strong marriage. One by one, couples who were married from 12-years to 37-years stood and waxed poetic with insight.
I was so mesmerized by the abundance of advice that I jotted down some notes. Here are 10 bits of wisdom shared by the married couples:
1) Keep God Centered In Your Marriage
Couples that follow God’s design can avoid many of the pitfalls that other marriages experience. No matter where you are in your relationship, God can make all things new when you start doing things His Way!
2) Argue Naked
This was initially said jokingly, but several couples who later spoke endorsed this idea. The bottom line with this thought is after attempting to fight fair, but to no avail, rip your clothes off and see how long you can stay mad each other (of course, this only works as long as you both remain physically attracted to each other).
3) Make Time To Date
Nothing substitutes for time together. Nothing. As life evolves, so do our responsibilities. Unless you and your partner consciously set time aside, it won’t happen.
4) Understand It’s A Fight, Every Single Day
I eluded to this in the post I wrote about my own marriage. Getting married shouldn’t be viewed as a finish line, but rather a starting point. While most marriages see more better days than bad ones, there is no matrimony that doesn’t undergo a series of battles. Understand this going into the relationship and you’ll be best prepared.
5) Don’t Entertain Divorce As An Option
Only one couple mentioned this, but I heard many chant “Amen” when the statement was uttered. If followed, this one step would literally obliterate our seemingly uncontrollable divorce rate.
6) Surround Yourself With Strong Couples
I wish the couple that gave this advice expanded on it more. Reading into it, I believe they were referring to not just surrounding yourself with couples growing their relationships (the way you aspire), but also to spend less time with your single friends.
7) Be An Example
Every couple who spoke underscored the need for more examples of strong marriage. Mentoring is not only critical in supporting the journey of other couples, but also continues to help you help your relationship.
8) Never Make A Decision Without Consideration Of Your Partner
This advice is based on the belief that a married couple becomes one. As one, every aspect of your life has implications on your partner’s life.
9) Keep Each Other First (Above Children, Family, Friends, Work, Etc)
Priorities arise in life with increasing importance, but never allow anything to knock your partner from pole position.
10) Don’t Share Your Business
Very simply, keep your private matters private. No need to tell friends (or family) about the business concerning you and your partner.
What do you think about the advice the married couples shared?