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#GoodPeopleProject: Southern Girl in the City

Danyelle is an old fashioned spirit with a modern twist.

In this first feature for the #GoodPeopleProject (a new series where I profile good people in search of something I believe my community can help with) we’re profiling a single woman who is looking for love. Our first entry features a good friend of mine, Danyelle, I call her “Danny.” We have a friendship that goes back 20 years to our college days. What follows is the story of who she is, why she’s “good people” and why you should get to know her. Fellas, if you’re interested in meeting Danyelle, please use the form below. Ladies, if you know someone in your network you believe is a good fit for Danyelle, help me play matchmaker! 

There’s nothing wrong with being a little old fashioned.

That’s what Danyelle of Alexandria, Va. believes. That there’s nothing wrong with believing in a marriage that can last forty years or more. There’s nothing wrong with loving God and being one with nature.  There’s nothing wrong with staying true to your roots – Danyelle is family-oriented and down-to-earth, while possessing a Christian-based humility and sense of stewardship.

But she’s tried to put a modern spin on it as a city-dweller.

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“I’m a southern girl in the city. I can’t cook an entire meal from scratch but I can cook some things for scratch!” Danyelle said with a laugh, when describing herself as “Southern, down home, rural, a hostess. You don’t have to be pretentious, that’s who I am at heart and how I was raised.”

Danyelle is a speech therapist in her late 30s who grew up in Halifax, Va. She admits she spent a lot of her 20s and 30s in long-term relationships that were on a road to nowhere.

“My biggest issues, downfall – once realizing things aren’t working. Instead of just letting it go I would always just work at it,” Danyelle said, adding that she had to learn when to walk away.“ Sometimes personalities don’t mesh but when everyone in your circle, everyone is saying something is wrong you should leave. Seriously re-assess. Get away from that person and kind of look at the big picture. My last real relationship everybody was saying don’t. I was stuck on we’re going to be able to fix it. We’re going to be able to make it work. But everybody was saying the same thing.”

In that moment she said she knew she had to “surrender” and take a break from the relationship. But she admits that it’s hard to give up on people. She was taught to be accepting.

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“I come from a very big family and it’s taught you that you do have to learn to accept other people’s faults or ways,” she said. “You either accept it or remove yourself from the situation. I think I better learned to put it in perspective as an adult.”

The youngest of four children, she was a happy, precocious child, prone to always saying the sort of things that make your parents go “don’t say that.”

“I was always a little bit sassy, not bad … I always would ask the questions people shouldn’t ask and I can’t say I’ve outgrown that totally,” Danyelle said. “If I saw something that looked strange I would definitely make a comment about it.”

As the baby of the family, Danyelle said she got a lot of attention. (She and the second youngest child in the family, her sister, are 11 years apart.) Because of the large age gap, her old sisters were more like mother figures with one sister treating her as if she were her baby, being very nurturing and protective.

Still, there was a downside to being everyone’s little girl.

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“I got a lot of attention growing up even though it felt like I was the little person catching up. Everyone was almost a generation, more than 10 years older than me. I was always trying to figure out what everyone else was doing,” she said.

Coming from a loving two parent home with loving, protective older siblings has been a blessing for Danyelle, but one she thinks not enough people have gotten to experience.

“I wish more of (black people) had that type of a story. I think it so takes away from a black man’s sense of maleness, the sense of what it is to be a provider. What it is to even be loved by their father, their mother. There’s just such a disparity.”

This fact, that she is so family-oriented while others have non-traditional views on what family is, has been a recurring problem in her dating life.

“I find it difficult especially in a city setting,” she said. “You have so many different takes on what is a healthy thing. There’s this thought ‘if my mother did it and we’re fine’ it’s OK. But, no. That’s not my vision. It’s not my vision to be a single mother. If that’s what God has for me, I understand. But that’s not my vision to be a woman who struggles through everything. It’s so difficult to find the simple things now.”

Danyelle grew up in a home where dad was the protector and provider, she was a “daddy’s girl” while she was extremely close to her mother to the point she calls her a friend. Seeing her parents’ long-term love has made her pine for that same traditional love of her own.

“It is my desire to marry. I want my husband. I believe he’s out there. I don’t think God would give me the desire if he wasn’t out there.”

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FACTS ABOUT DANYELLE

  • She loves the outdoors (especially bird watching) but she wants to share the outdoors with someone special. “I really like sharing the event, time and place with someone … I like hiking. I like nature walks. I like going to rustic places just to see what the outdoors has to offer.”
  • She’s an art lover: “Art allows for verbal expression. One may see one thing and one may see something different.”
  • At her heart, she’s an idealist who’s easy-going except for with one point: “Even though I’m this easy breezy flexible person I have this insatiable want to have everything right.”
  • Her ideal mate is someone who shares her relationship with Christ, has a sense of humor, is as equally driven as she is and that they have similar beliefs on family, and what it means to be good “citizens of this Earth.” Said Danyelle, “It would be so nice to have  those things in common and be physcially pleasing to each other. I don’t need him to think I’m the most beautiful woman on earth. He’s not the most handsome man on earth. But we’re pleased. I’m pleased with him. We’re pleasing one another.”

Do you think you know someone who’s right for Danyelle? Share this article with your friends or if you’re a guy and think you’d be interested in meeting Danyelle, fill out the form below. 

Also, a very special thanks (and serious endorsement from me) to:

Danielle Finney of DF Finney Photography for the incredible photography.

Bianca Cerise of Bianca Cerise Wardrobe Stylist for the beautiful wardrobe styling.

Stephanie Patterson of Runway Ready By Steph for the lovely makeup.

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Paul C. Brunson

Mentor, Entrepreneur, & Television Host. My goal is to help you live your best life. I’m the world’s most influential matchmaker, founded and exited three businesses, host two television shows, spent nearly a decade working directly for a billionaire, and share my experiences by mentoring through Knowledge Share