skip to Main Content

Dating The Same Type of Person Says A Lot About You

If you keep winding up on dates with the same type of person, over and over again, this post is for you!

There are things we should know about our character and personality that make us susceptible to attracting and staying with unbalanced partners. It is important to pay attention to this because doing so can help bring healthier people into your life. The following are eight types of people and what dating them could say about you.


The Narcissist

Description: His/Her charm, talent, success, beauty and charisma cast a spell on you and everyone around. His/Her conversation is scintillating! Once hooked, however, you battle with their demands, criticisms and self-centeredness.

Consistently Dating Narcissists Could Mean: You are also narcissistic. If you’re a narcissist, the common misconception is that you love you some you. Actually, you dislike yourself immensely. Your inflated self-flattery, perfectionism, and arrogance are merely covers for the self-loathing you don’t admit—usually even to yourself. Narcissists often attract and it’s very dangerous: They’ll need each other one minute and fight the next over whose needs come first. Narcissism can be healed with courage, time and a commitment to yourself.


The Emotionally Unavailable

Description: He/She doesn’t eagerly show up for you. They are full of excuses and indecisive. He/She talks about the past a lot. They are quick to claim they like you but he’s/she’s not looking for a committed relationship for whatever reasons.

Consistently Dating Emotionally Unavailable People Could Mean: You don’t feel deserving. Not feeling worthy typically originates because someone significant failed to stand up for you earlier in life. Someone essential to supporting your life wasn’t there, or was abusive, or was neglectful. As a result, you came away with a deep-down feeling that you are not worthy. To correct this trait, it is important to begin by confronting (and often forgiving) the person who originally failed you.


The Needs to Be Fixed

Description: He/She feels “beneath” you. You consider him/her a diamond in the rough. The person who stands before you today isn’t great but sure does have potential. Dating them feels like a project.

Consistently Dating Needs to Be Fixed People Could Mean: You’re an over-compensator and you often make excuses for something or for what someone has done. Therefore, you walk into most relationships with extreme patience and a toolkit, ready to fix everything. This trait mostly comes as a result of overcompensating for some error or mistake in your own life. In order to really prove yourself to be someone worth dating is to stop trying to make up for what you either missed out on or something you did in your past that’s done and over with.


The Commitment-Phobe

Description: He/She has a history of short relationships and may never have been married. He has several excuses why he hasn’t met the right woman. He/She has justified their history by saying he has plenty of time to settle down. One of their favorite lines is “someday.”

Consistently Dating Commitment-Phobes Could Mean: You’re needy. Being persistently needy, whether it’s emotionally or otherwise, means you’re going to attract men who feel the need to “rescue” a woman (but not necessarily commit to her). Being needy means you thrive on the attention you get from men, no matter how little or infrequent. This is commonly seen in people who had abrupt endings to past relationships. In order to meet a secure person wanting to commit, you have to be a secure person who upholds your “relationship vitals.”


The Parasite

Description: He/She gets helps, at your expense and assisting him often puts you in harm’s way. Neither you nor the relationship benefit from what he/she takes from you. 

Consistently Dating Parasites Could Mean: You are insecure. Being insecure and having low self-esteem can attract needy and clingy men who use you. It’s important to have your self-esteem in order before you begin dating so that it sends a message to parasitic men that you don’t need them. I’m not asking you get all gangsta but you must assert yourself to show that you’re not a pushover either. People who are secure with themselves are less likely to attract a parasite.


The Bully

Description: He/She blames you for things that aren’t your fault. He/She talks to you like you are a child. They use an intimidating tone to others when asking for help. They criticizes your character and possibly even your children.

Consistently Dating Bullies Could Mean: You have problems maintaining emotional boundaries. You don’t instinctively know where to draw the lines of emotional responsibility between self and others. You seek to win over others by pleasing them or casting yourself in a favorable light, to your detriment. This boundary issue typically stems from carrying the burden of others’ emotions for which you aren’t responsible. When you become clear about where to take responsibility and where your emotional responsibility ends, you can better manage the boundaries.


The Pushover

Description: He/She will agree with anything you say. He/She has low self-esteem. He/She has no sense of self-confidence. He/She is unable to voice or argue opinions or desires.

Consistently Dating Pushovers Could Mean: You are a controlling person who tends to appear to have their stuff together. If you’re a controlling person, you easily attract (or should I say, go after and find) pushovers. These pushovers love you because they identify in you elements of maturity they don’t possess. Unfortunately, most of these pushovers never evolve and instead permanently take the role of “yes men/women.” It’s best, if you’re this type of person, to stay clear of pushovers and stay with more complimentary personalities.


The Taken

Description: He/She is married, engaged, or in a romantic relationship with someone other than  you. Please note, if he/she is married but separated, it still means he/she is married. 

Consistently Dating Taken People Could Mean: You have low self-esteem and no self-love. No matter the excuse, if you’re carrying on a “relationship” with someone who is in another relationship, you are exhibiting one of the lowest forms of self-love and self-respect. If you’re “dating” a cheater, you are in fact a cheater yourself and likely to be snide towards the people closest to you. Chances are, your family and friends have voiced concern over whom you’re involved with and as a result, your relationship with them has grown strained. While I don’t believe friends and family are the best relationship experts, if they all are telling you the same thing, listen!


Paul C. Brunson

Mentor, Entrepreneur, & Television Host. My goal is to help you live your best life. I’m the world’s most influential matchmaker, founded and exited three businesses, host two television shows, spent nearly a decade working directly for a billionaire, and share my experiences by mentoring through Knowledge Share