10 Things You Must Stop Doing Today to Believe In Yourself

Reflecting on the commemoration of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s achievements, it’s important to consider the one thing that made it possible for him (and many others) to indelibly impact the world: belief in self, first. Dr. King’s “dream” is often noted and recited. Still, it’s important to remember that in order to express and ultimately realize your own dreams, you have to believe in yourself.

Everything we have in life comes because of our belief that they are possible.

Yet, believing, especially in yourself, is much easier said than done. I know this first hand, because for the majority of my adult life, I suffered from one of the most debilitating diseases known to man – a disbelief in myself.

Believe in yourself

It started for me in high school. My teachers (while giving inspiration to other students) lowered their expectations for me and attempted to narrow my vision. Although this didn’t break me, it didn’t make me stronger. I carried with me, for years, a poison of self-doubt. Even during early career “successes,” my exterior image projected fearlessness; yet, inside I fought low self-esteem. Even worse, I felt like a phony.

Over years of pain (which is a great teacher) I taught myself how to cultivate self-belief, and I want to share with you what I have found to work. Believing in ourselves and our plan is not easy. If you want to believe in your greater purpose, there are ten things you must stop doing:

1) Not Guarding Your Heart

Your heart is the most important tool you have. It is not your experience, knowledge, or skills. It is your heart that matters most of all. Don’t allow just everyone to have access to it. [inlinetweet prefix=”Guard your heart | ” tweeter=”@paulcbrunson” suffix=”#BelieveInYourself”]Guard your heart with all your might because everything you create comes from it. [/inlinetweet]If we lose our heart, we have lost everything.

 

2) Allowing Garbage In Your Mind

In this day and age, more content (blogs, tweets, Facebook posts, etc) gets published than at any point in the history of the world. Whatever we want to consume is accessible. The issue is what often lands on our plate is filled with negativity – from gossip posts to pure brainless themes like Cat memes. While individually, this content doesn’t do real harm, over time it eats away at our mind like a disease. Consume a disproportionate amount of inspirational content and cut out the crap.

 

3) Not Knowing What You Live For

“What’s my purpose?” This was a question I asked myself a few years ago.  Answering it changed my life instantly. It’s hard to know where you’re going unless you know who you are – your truth. To create your life roadmap, first identify and prioritize your values. Doing so will give clarity of what you need in life as opposed to what you simply want.

 

4) Not Training Your Belief System

The first step to training your belief system is to use affirmations. Affirmations like, “Why am I so confident? Why do I believe in myself? Why do I trust my intuition?” are empowering questions that focus your mind on why you are, in fact, confident. Next, force yourself into creating a habit of belief. Some people are born with an innate self-confidence, but most of us are not that lucky. It’s a good thing we can teach ourselves new habits. Most experts agree it only takes 30 days to change our behavior. Just like a good exercise program, use the suggestions in this post to map out what you will do daily to boost your “belief muscle” over the next 30 days.

 

5) Thinking You’re The “Only One”

Do a quick read of ________’s biography (fill in the blank with the most inspirational person you know), and you’ll see how they also faced self-doubt at certain points in their life. If you are human, you have struggled with belief. I often find myself returning to Steve Job’s Stanford commencement address as a source of inspiration and guidance on how one of the most innovative men of our time dealt with self-doubt. This video is a different kind of soul food!

 

6) Allowing The Word “No” To Impact You

No one ever succeeds without being rejected (many times). Expect to hear the word “no” time after time, and you’ll be ready to overcome, time after time. As best-selling [inlinetweet prefix=”No isn’t always final | ” tweeter=”@PaulCBrunson” suffix=”#BelieveInYourself”]author Karen Quinones so eloquently said: “When someone tells me ‘no,’ it doesn’t mean I can’t do it, it simply means I can’t do it with them.”[/inlinetweet]

 

7) Not Accepting Compliments

This is critical towards building your self-esteem, which is an important part of believing you can step into your purpose. Next time someone gives you a compliment, resist the urge to dismiss it, or question its authenticity. Instead, imagine it is true and you might just find that it is.

 

8) Going At It Alone

I write frequently about the importance of surrounding yourself with as many good people as possible. But let’s face it, sometimes the well for good friends is dry. That said, I don’t believe we were put on earth to be alone with our ideas. You must find your one supporter! When I decided to become a matchmaker, everyone told me I was crazy but I was able to find support from my wife. All you need is one person to have your back and it makes your belief infinitely easier.

 

9) Not “Faking It Until You Make It”

This begins with simply speaking confidently and assertively (even if you’re not). I’ve seen first hand that by simply speaking in a strong manner, people will believe what you have to say. Therefore, it gives you greater control over your ability to influence, and it helps to drive your actual confidence.

 

10) Not Surrendering

From working with and observing some very successful people in life, I noticed a common theme that I have adopted for myself: a) Work your ass off. b) Identify what you can control. c) Identify what you can’t control. d) Surrender to a higher power. [inlinetweet prefix=”Surrender!” tweeter=”@paulcbrunson” suffix=”#Faith”]It’s important to realize that no one has ever fallen while stepping out on faith.[/inlinetweet]  And understand that, in the eternal words of Dr. King, “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” I think about this single point daily.

Self-doubt is crippling and will cause you to live beneath your privileges. To believe in yourself is no easy feat. Yet, it’s essential to living a fulfilled life. If you’re doing any of these ten things to yourself today, stop so that you can start believing in yourself tomorrow.

What are some other things you have stopped doing to increase self-belief?

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About Paul C. Brunson
Mentor, Entrepreneur, & Television Host. My goal is to help you live your best life. I’m the world’s most influential matchmaker, founded and exited three businesses, host two television shows, spent nearly a decade working directly for a billionaire, and share my experiences by mentoring through Knowledge Share

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Lauren G Reliford
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Lauren G Reliford

Preach to me, baby!

Patricia Tulloch
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Patricia Tulloch

Thanks needed this!

Jill Collie
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Jill Collie

I’m on it! Change begins with me.

desireemmondesir
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Awesome post bro! #1 is straight Bible:

“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of itspringthe issues of life.” (Proverbs 4:23) 🙂

Dianne Gerald
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Dianne Gerald

I know I have

Jevees Russell
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Jevees Russell

You are one sharp brother!

Keeon Supholisticfit Taylor
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Keeon Supholisticfit Taylor

Guard your heart and mind with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life Prov 4:23

Mary Donovan
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Mary Donovan

this is a very meaningful quote for me currently. w/what I have on my plate (signing back up to school and not knowing the outcome.) Powerful words.

Trish Moore
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Trish Moore

Beautiful article!!!

Avalaura Gaither Beharry
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Avalaura Gaither Beharry

I just posted a similar quote from him. “Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.

NibbleOnThis
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NibbleOnThis

Are always on target and timely with your messages. You spoke to my soul this morning. I’m struggling with some of these issues. My Pastor said yesterday that faith and doubt can’t occupy the same space. It’s dangerous for others to believe in us when we don’t even believe in ourselves. God has pre-ordained our destiny. All we have to do is show up!

Debra Davis
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Debra Davis

Amen

Terry Di Lorenzo Tidd
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Terry Di Lorenzo Tidd

NOT ALWAYS. DON’T LET A NEGATIVE THOUGHT COME IN.

Jeanne O'Connor
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Jeanne O'Connor

AMEN! He’s 1 of My Heroes! :'(

Shay Lynn
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Shay Lynn

🙂

Belinda Jennings
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Belinda Jennings

Amen@

Belinda Jennings
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Belinda Jennings

Amen!

desireebanugo
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desireebanugo

OMGoodness – how are you in my head! Bookmarked to read regularly. I’ve been crippled by self-doubt. I’m going to do a self-belief challenge for myself starting Feb 1. Thanks so much. Ever grateful as always!

thephenomLaurenG
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thephenomLaurenG

So much good stuff in here. Thank you.

Sherri Vinsant
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Sherri Vinsant

Yes our FAITH CARIES US TGROUGH EVERYTHING!! Thanks Paul and for Martin Luther King Jr!!! He was one AMAZING MAN! To bad all GREAT MEN HAVE TO LEAVE THIS LIFE SOOOOOOO SOON!!

Yvette Sigal
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Yvette Sigal

This is great, thank you for sharing.

Mayra Vera
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Mayra Vera

Very Bratiful words.

Luana Maciel
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Luana Maciel

True!

Akiba Abaka
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Akiba Abaka

Lesson learned.

Jamlliah Mency
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Jamlliah Mency

True

David Hearst
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David Hearst

True!

Mary Valdemar
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Mary Valdemar

i really need to work on this…. too many people have access. I need a security gate with one of those eye scan things so i can look very close in the eye & see if they’re gonna just abandon me later. :/

Mickie Tiller
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Mickie Tiller

Amen

Steven Joyner
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Steven Joyner

Hey beautiful!!!!

Tina Augustus
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Tina Augustus

Truth

Valerie Shaw
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Valerie Shaw

With all those you give ur heart too it only takes one to break it !!!!

Vicky Stevenson Sykes
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Vicky Stevenson Sykes

🙂

Wendy Hawks
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Wendy Hawks

Ty soo true

Hajja Zakiyah Omar
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Hajja Zakiyah Omar

Wow this may be My Ah Ha moment

Jacqueline Marie Provencio
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Jacqueline Marie Provencio

Amen..

Sherri Vinsant
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Sherri Vinsant

Amen to that Paul!!

Barbara Johnson
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Barbara Johnson

Amen to that!

Gloria Chester
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Gloria Chester

I know what you mean. I had mine broken. But jesus healed it for me.

Debbie Barrentine
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Debbie Barrentine

I dont let no one get in my heart!! I dont need the fske feelings or bullshit. I let one person in, snd he acts like im nothing i dont realy matter to him. Untill he wants what he wants from me. And thats sad. Because, he acutaly is in my heart and soul all all way, and the only one i ever loved the way i do, or as deep and meaningfull, as i do. But, he only wants a play friend in his life!! Im not a toy!! Or someones play thing

Ekkehard Stähle
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Ekkehard Stähle

Since everything I do shall have meaning … 😉

Cheryl Revard Reulein Frey
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Cheryl Revard Reulein Frey

Very true Paul and so very well said. Your quotes are so very wonderful. I look forward to them everyday. Posts some more pics of your beautiful family! I love to look at all the love and dynamics of your family and believe “Yes I CAN have that too! Sending blessings!

Maria Antonia Marquez Pinedo
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Maria Antonia Marquez Pinedo

Amen

Allie Wayman
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Allie Wayman

I gave my heart to two jerks, NEVER AGAIN !!!!!!

Cheryl Revard Reulein Frey
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Cheryl Revard Reulein Frey

There are so many people that we never expect to hurt us like a life partner or a family member. When they do the depth and value you have placed in those relationships can be so severely damaging right down to your soul. There will be a grieving and healing process that follows that applies to each individual personally. Those heartaches are the worst. They require such support and for me such a “Leap of Faith.”

Colea Maroney
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Colea Maroney

Thank you Paul!

Gail Alston
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Gail Alston

Well Said!

Kermit Alexander King
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Kermit Alexander King

I can hear Barbra Streisand singing in the background, “My Heart Belongs To Me.” ♥ I have loved the sentiments behind this song from the first time I heard it so long ago. And I find myself humming it and singing the chorus from time to time. I just don’t sound as good as Barbra. lol

Lisa La Freniere
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Lisa La Freniere

I’m sticking with this policy until I’m ready to change my position. 😉

Kris Stevens-Starks
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Kris Stevens-Starks

Very well said Cheryl

Valerie Shaw
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Valerie Shaw

I hear you Cheryl Revard Reulein Frey x