How to Know When to Respond to Your Girlfriend or Wife and When to Keep Your Mouth Shut

How to Know When to Respond to Your Girlfriend or Wife and When to Keep Your Mouth Shut

This is a public service announcement to my fellow men currently in a relationship with a woman and you don’t know if she actually wants you to respond when she has a “conversation” with you or she wants you to sit silently with your mouth shut.

I’ve been married for 12 years and, honestly, have just figured it out. Based on all the “talks” my wife and I have had plus what I’ve observed from closely watching the women in my life (grandmothers, mother, mother in-law, sister-in-laws, aunts, cousins, and female friends), here’s what I’ve discovered:

Respond When Her…

  • Pace is slower than normal – It’s important to “baseline” her and know her normal voice cadence, first.
  • Voice inflection is downward – Usually, downward inflection makes her sound monotone and serious.
  • Sentences don’t contain any profanity – Of course, balance this against her “normal” use of cursing (if it’s average or lower than average, good sign to respond).
  • Body language is controlled – Think smooth, graceful, and deliberate like Clair Huxtable.
  • Eyes are laser focused on you – You should feel like she’s projecting a sniper’s red beam onto your face.

Translation (when she exhibits most or all of the above): I want you to listen to what I’m saying and think carefully before opening your mouth but you better say something and that something needs to be good.

 

DON’T Respond When Her…

  • Pace is a rapid fire delivery – She sounds like a machine gun.
  • Pauses between statements are lengthy – The silence will feel awkward but whatever you do, don’t say a word.
  • Voice inflection is upward – When you hear upward inflections it sounds like she is asking you a question…but she ain’t. Once again, don’t say a word.
  • Sentences are filled with more profanity than a sailor – I’ve also noticed firsthand that the profanity is used so forcefully that you can feel a faint spray of saliva on your face. If this happens fellas, don’t wipe it away (trust me, don’t wipe).
  • Body movements periodically are wild – Think of the twitch of a drug addict.
  • Eyes are fidgety – Think of a mentally unstable person.

Translation (when she exhibits most or all of the above): I want you to hear me, nod occasionally, but don’t say a damn word or I’m going to blow up worse than I already am.

Practice (and execute) on all the above and you’ll not only have a better relationship with the woman in your life, you’ll live longer too!

 

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About Paul C. Brunson
Mentor, Entrepreneur, & Television Host. My goal is to help you live your best life. I’m the world’s most influential matchmaker, founded and exited three businesses, host two television shows, spent nearly a decade working directly for a billionaire, and share my experiences by mentoring through Knowledge Share

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Debra Easton
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Debra Easton

I know the wisest men then.

Niya Brock
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Niya Brock

i like

Nageetah Israel
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Nageetah Israel

Whew……you hit the nail dead on the head this morning, brother Paul.. Some men (and woman) talk their way OUT of a potential relationship.

Virginia Danette Ogunsile
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Virginia Danette Ogunsile

Wish I had learned that early in life

Cassandra Pough
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Cassandra Pough

Lol, right Debra, alot men aren’t good at communication…

Renee Lowe
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Renee Lowe

We broke your website sir! You can’t just post an article with this type of title and not expect the servers to crash! LOL! I am getting this msg: “Error establishing a database connection”

Lisa C Jenkins
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Lisa C Jenkins

#TheRawTruth

Jael Himko
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Jael Himko

So true!

Renita Bryant-Author
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Renita Bryant-Author

Paul Carrick Brunson these are hilarious! Lol! Maybe it’s because I’m a talker and I’ve dated guys that are less talkative and MUCH less talkative. Several of your points are quite accurate and you’re probably saving lives with this post sir! However, I don’t know if it’s in a his best interest to be silent when there is a long pause. For me, that makes me feel as though he either 1) Has nothing to say which will upset me if I believe he should have something to say or 2) Is afraid to speak his mind which will upset… Read more »

Iliapi Ratuvuki
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Iliapi Ratuvuki

Really true……

Tawnya Tate
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Tawnya Tate

that depends on the woman i think, but if ur needin to comunicate, better sure know what ur doin. Lol cuz weve heard it all.

Fatma Howard
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Fatma Howard

truth

Monica Watson
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Monica Watson

This is true!

Susi Stunz
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Susi Stunz

I dont agree! Communication is important to avoid misunderstandings an to keep a good relationship alive!

Karen Arriaza
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Karen Arriaza

Hmmmmmm nice

Kimberly Marcelle
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Kimberly Marcelle

The same goes for a woman.

Mayra Vera
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Mayra Vera

Like

GodsSoldier23
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GodsSoldier23

PaulCBrunson “You should feel like she’s projecting a sniper’s red beam onto your face.” Great line, Great post!

Cameka Rivera
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Cameka Rivera

Ha!!!

Penelope Casiano
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Penelope Casiano

I have one that always talks his way out the more he talks the worst it gets then I don’t believe him

PaulCBrunson
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PaulCBrunson

GodsSoldier23 thank you sir!

JtSoulbrotha Supreeme
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JtSoulbrotha Supreeme

Silence is golden. Silence can be powerful. Silence can be your friend

JtSoulbrotha Supreeme
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JtSoulbrotha Supreeme

Communication is great but some folks dont shut up long enough to do it.

Lavonia Lewis
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Lavonia Lewis

So true. He wull be a great listener

Denise Jones
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Denise Jones

Or the more dishonest a man is the less talkative he will be also

Melissa D. Coleman
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Melissa D. Coleman

Do you have one for women? Sometimes women need to shut up as well….

Tania King
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Tania King

Thats sounds about right Happy wife Happy Life

kendrakabasele
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kendrakabasele

PaulCBrunson Haha! Nice “field work” Paul! And nice use of Clair Huxtable as a reference!

PaulCBrunson
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PaulCBrunson

kendrakabasele thanks sis 🙂

kendrakabasele
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kendrakabasele

PaulCBrunson It’s a great way to both learn and laugh at ourselves…

mbonjwa_keke
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mbonjwa_keke

PaulCBrunson ,hahaa true thou!

PaulCBrunson
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PaulCBrunson

mbonjwa_keke 🙂

Charlie Climp
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Charlie Climp

amen

Wandra Celebratinglife Nickson
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Wandra Celebratinglife Nickson

Amen! I am always leery of someone that talks too much and has always be the center of attention.

Kay Cross
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Kay Cross

ah thats gotta be true..he wont open his mouth and show his knowledge..so keeps silent.

Diane Washington
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Diane Washington

AMEN!

Katherine E. Lackenbach Thurow
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Katherine E. Lackenbach Thurow

my dad never talks hmmmmm

Veronica Lamb
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Veronica Lamb

Glad you figured it out! ; )

Damaris Lozada
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Damaris Lozada

lol! go discovery is like going to the moon

Angie Bluemling
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Angie Bluemling

Very wise man lol

Sherri Vinsant
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Sherri Vinsant

Yes very true!! Thanks Paul!

Vicky Stevenson Sykes
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Vicky Stevenson Sykes

WOW

Gerrina Coco Miles
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Gerrina Coco Miles

lol….oh wow

Cayenne Kelly
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Cayenne Kelly

LOL! Started learning this from my mother. And from this episode of The Cosby Show where Claire reprimands Vanessa.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_xXtuQrWYo

Tonya Love
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Tonya Love

You have won one battle!!! We want all men to get that lesson.

Bc Chronicles
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Bc Chronicles

That is so Beautiful!

Angie Cabrera
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Angie Cabrera

Angel E. Gomez read it!!

Heather Darwin
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Heather Darwin

This is true! Lol

Zaynab Ladyy
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Zaynab Ladyy

This was adorable

Netta Brothers
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Netta Brothers

Lol…