I dedicate this post to everyone struggling with how to define ‘marriage material.’ You’ve heard me talk ad nauseum about the importance of finding a partner that you’re attracted to, who matches your values, and compliments your personality. However, in order for someone to be marriage material, you need more. After all, a successful relationship must be based on more than just love to survive.
If you’re single, here are 24 important questions to ask yourself. If you’re in a relationship, these are great questions to discuss with your partner. You don’t have to be in complete agreement on each of these answers but you do need to be able to compromise if there are differences – if you can successfully do that, I say you have someone who is marriage material!
- Do you want children? If so, just one or a small tribe like Bob Marley?
- How do you prefer to spend the holidays? Chillin’ on the beach or doing something adventurous like hunting exotic animals with the Trump boys?
- How do you feel about relatives visiting? Are you for it or would you rather get a colonic?
- When do you want to retire? Early at 40 or do you want to work to the grave?
- Do you invest conservatively or are you an aggressive “Bernie Madoff-return-wanting” somebody?
- What kind of lifestyle materially do you hope to achieve? Is driving a used Nissan Altima sufficient or must you have the latest Range Rover?
Health & Wellness
- Do you want to compete in couples marathons or is channel surfing on the couch the most active you need to be?
- Is smoking a definitive no or do you let loose on 4/20?
- What is your chicken preference? Not on the plate, baked, or double fried in lard?
- Do you realize there is a difference between intimacy and sex?
- How do you rate on the freak-o-meter? Are Zane books too tame or do you blush reading them?
- How frequent do you want sex? Daily like a good multivitamin or quarterly like an earnings report?
- Is it critical for you both to share the same religion and practice in the same manner? If so, why?
- What is the core code of conduct you live your life by? Do the Notorious BIG’s ’10 Crack Commandments’ suffice or do you live by something deeper?
- How do you see religious or spiritual beliefs being integrated with raising children?
- How much private time do you need?
- What pace do you want to live? Would a leisurely Dave Chappelle pace work or do you need to be on the move more frequently than Diddy?
- Are weekends and vacations code for ‘more time to work’ or are they opportunities to breakaway from the office?
- Are you in a job or in a career? Do you want a job or career?
- Will your job/career define who you are or just pay the bills?
- Are you willing to relocate for you career or are you permanently home in the city you live?
- Are you interested in getting seven PhD’s or is that bachelors of science you have adequate?
- What dreams do you have around achievement? Are you interested in training to belly dance in Istanbul so you can open your own school or something less ambitious?
- What values around academics and achievement do you feel most important to teach your children?