12 Reasons Why Women Find Idris Elba So Irresistible (And What Men Can Learn)

Okay, I have a confession: I’m fascinated by how fascinated women are with Idris Elba. You first met Elba in 2002 when he stepped onto the blocks of Baltimore in his breakout role as Stringer Bell on HBO’s critically acclaimed show The Wire, and since then, he has become widely known as “one of the sexiest men on the planet.”

I would even go as far to say Idris has dethroned Denzel, in your hearts, claiming his title as the new King of Irresistible.

But with millions of men on the planet, how is it that one man has so many women so captivated? Better yet, why is it? Is it because he has a smooth British accent, or as my cousin would say, that “smooth dark chocolate skin?” His stare, maybe?

I’m here to tell you, you love Elba for all those reasons, and some. I’ve spent time studying him in the hopes of helping women to better identify the exact characteristics that compel them to fall for a man. I also did it for the fellas, so we can fully understand the specific attributes that equal “sexy” to a woman. The bottom line is, there are several scientific reasons why women find men irresistible and Idris possess all of them. Here’s the breakdown.


1) He’s Confident


Confidence and high self-esteem are sexy, no question. In six studies from the Evolutionary Psychology journal, men with ostensibly higher levels of self-esteem were rated as more attractive and as more desirable relationship partners than those with lower levels of self-esteem.


2) He’s Good At His Job


In all of his hit roles, from playing a drug lord on The Wire to a detective on the hit BBC series Luther, he always appears to be very competent at his work. Success at your job, whatever it is, conveys you have the skills to “get things done,” and an achiever means a winner.


3) He Has A Deep Voice and Talks Slowly


Research that looked at U.S. presidential candidates between 1960 and 2000 found that in all eight elections, the candidate with the lower voice won the popular vote. Psychologically, we are more inclined to like men with lower-pitched and slower talking voices.


4) He’s Calm


Women find men who don’t stress hotter. According to new research conducted at the University of Abertay Dundee, men with low stress levels are significantly more attractive to women than highly stressed rivals.


5) He Doesn’t Fidget


When I think of fidgety, I think of Pookie from New Jack City, not Idris Elba. In fact, have you ever watched Idris in an interview? He doesn’t move much at all. No tugging at his clothing, bobbing his head or twitching his shoulders. He stays cool, cam and collected. Composed people exhibit a level of stillness, which is sometimes described as poise. They avoid extraneous, superfluous gestures such as fidgeting with their clothes, their hair, or their faces, incessantly nodding their heads, or saying “um” before sentences. Women like that.


6) He Has An Intense Stare


The science behind this speaks volumes. In a study I found, subjects induced to exchange a mutual unbroken gaze for 2 minutes with a stranger of the opposite sex reported increased feelings of passionate love for each other. That unflinching eye contact will hook ’em!


7) Uncertainty Increases Attraction


Yesterday, it was just announced that Idris is dating this woman, however, he’s 41 years-old and this is the first public linking to a romantic partner. So who has Idris Elba dated in the past? Hmmm, you don’t know? Neither do most of us, and that’s what you love about him. It’s the mysteriousness and uncertainty about the type of women he likes that actually makes him more compelling to all women.


8) He Doesn’t Smile Much

The Palazzo After Party For Sony Pictures Entertainment's "Takers"

Run a Google image search for Idris Elba, and you’ll see he rarely smiles in photos. This has really helped his cause. In a great article called “Happy Guys Finish Last” an interesting study was revealed where we see happiness is the most attractive female emotion expression, and one of the least attractive in males. So men who do more mean muggin’ actually win.


9) He’s A Bad Boy


Okay, I don’t know about his off-screen persona, but on-screen, Idris predominantly plays bad boys. And yes, it is true, women who like sex prefer bad boys. According to the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, women who are more permissive and who are willing to engage in sex are more attracted to bad boys.


10) He’s Moderately Muscular


Women dig “quasi” muscular men. So in other words, being too muscular, aka Arnold in his Mr. Universe days, is not a good look. In the article “Why Is Muscularity Sexy? Tests of the Fitness Indicator Hypothesis” from Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, it showed women rate moderately muscular men as much sexier.


11) He Knows Who Wants Him

 Premiere Of Screen Gems' "Takers" - Arrivals

According to a report by MSNBC, the more attractive the woman was to the guy, the more likely he was to overestimate her interest in him. And it turns out; the less attractive men (who believed they were better looking than the women rated them) were more likely to think beautiful women were hot for them. But the more attractive guys tend to have a more realistic assessment.


12) He’s Exciting!!!


I preach this all the time. To keep your relationship hot, you have to keep your relationship hot – which means new and exciting activities and adventures. Research shows that if partners experience excitement from other sources (such as novel and challenging activities) in a shared context, this shared experience can spark or reignite relationship passion by associating the excitement with the relationship.


Did I miss any traits about why he is sooooo compelling?


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *