Category Archives: Dating

10 Most Outrageous Myths About Men We All Believe

10 Most Outrageous Myths About Men We All Believe

Before clients of my agency begin the matchmaking phase, we first put them through several weeks of intensive coaching. Our focus during this pre-match time is to share effective dating strategies, review recent research, and most importantly, dispel myths! Over the years, I’ve heard just about everything, and I mean everythang! The following are the top 10 myths our female clients believed to be truths.

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9 Biggest Problems With Dating Today & How To Solve Them

I’ve been a professional matchmaker for six years and in just that time I’ve seen a significant shift in how people date around the world. In most countries, every category related to dating, from public opinion about it, to average length of time couples see each other, to satisfaction, have plummeted. We’re living in a time I label as “alarming” and fully expect if there is not an immediate shift in how we date, our communities will fall apart. After all, marriage is the cornerstone of society and dating is the cornerstone of marriage.  

Below, are the 9 biggest problems with dating today and my thoughts on how to solve them.

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8 Quick Ways To Detect A Non-Committal Man or Woman

When genuinely searching for a committed partner (leading to marriage), there is nothing worse than wasting your time with someone who is simply looking for quick sex, casual dating, or just a long-term hang out buddy. By my estimate, 80% or more of daters are not looking for anything serious and although I’m an advocate for “date practicing”, I’m not a proponent of giving your time or resources to a dead end partner.

If you find yourself debating whether the person you’re “dating” is non-committal, here are 8 quick ways to determine if he/she has long-term intentions:

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Do You Suffer From “Type Hype?”: How To (Really) Find Your Match

Do You Suffer From “Type Hype?”: How To (Really) Find Your Match

Remember the popular, satirical YouTube video called “(Authentic) Black Marriage Negotiations”? Well, if not, to refresh your memory: the wildly popular video featured a computer generated image of a Black woman listing all the things she wanted in a man.


The clip was loathed by the many, but there were some who liked the video. It gained my attention because it tapped into what has been a big issue in my work.

[inlinetweet prefix=”#TypeHype |” tweeter=”@paulcbrunson” suffix=””]People are often unable to tell values from wants.[/inlinetweet] Often, these people suffer from “Type Hype.” But, what’s the fix?

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7 Reasons Why I Hate Valentine’s Day

I’m about to write the one post you would never expect a professional matchmaker to write. So, first, let me clarify that I was actually a matchmaker. Yes, that was my “real” job and one that I loved.

This time of year is the Super Bowl of my industry – lots of events, lots of media attention, lots of new client requests. You would think I should just shut my mouth and enjoy the ride. However, I can’t…because I hate Valentine’s Day.

Hate Valentine's Day

Yes, that’s how I truly feel and let me give you the 7 reasons why…

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15 Ways To Know If You’re Dating a Man or Boy

15 Ways To Know If You’re Dating a Man or Boy

Let’s be clear: not every boy becomes a man. When dating, knowing how to distinguish between the two will save you time, energy, money and even heartache.

Here are 15 ways you can separate the men from the boys

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10 Behaviors That Will Keep You Single Forever

If you are single, but would rather not be, I am sure you have given significant thought about why. I know what you’re thinking:

Why is it that I don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend yet certain people around me seem to hop (sometimes effortlessly) from one relationship to another?

Well, one answer is it may not be your season. For many, it is as simple as that. However, for others, it’s actually the right time but they’re practicing the wrong behaviors and standing in their own way.

Here are 10 things I have personally witnessed my single clients and friends do that keep them single. Are you guilty too?

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20 Things I’ve Learned After 7 years of Being a Professional Matchmaker

2016 marks my 7th year as a professional matchmaker. Thanks to the addition of an incredible team added in 2013, my agency has dramatically increased the number of clients we serve and our client geographic footprint continues to expand, as well (last year we coached and matched people in the United Kingdom, Turkey, India, and the United States).

Since 2009, my firm has served over 1,000 coaching and matchmaking clients. For our matchmaking clients, we directly organized thousands of dates in 2013, alone. Some of those dates went incredibly well (and led to committed relationships), some of those led to platonic friendships, some of them there was no “chemistry,” and some completely blew-up with both parties hating each other.  All in all, I took notes on everything.

Over the years, I have gained an incredible amount of insight on how commitment-minded singles date and interact in the early stages of a romantic relationship. Here are 20 of the most interesting things I’ve learned:

 

1) Everyone should be in therapy

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I’m not kidding. 1 out of every 5 people in the United States have been negatively affected by someone else’s pathology. This means you have had a relationship with or are currently a sociopath, psychopath, or have a disorder associated with ‘no conscience’. Serious business. You may be out of the relationship, but the relationship may not be out of your mind. The clients I have who are actively engaged with therapists are typically the ones who gain the most from their dating experience.

 

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12 Reasons Why Women Find Idris Elba So Irresistible (And What Men Can Learn)

12 Reasons Why Women Find Idris Elba So Irresistible (And What Men Can Learn)

Okay, I have a confession: I’m fascinated by how fascinated women are with Idris Elba. You first met Elba in 2002 when he stepped onto the blocks of Baltimore in his breakout role as Stringer Bell on HBO’s critically acclaimed show The Wire, and since then, he has become widely known as “one of the sexiest men on the planet.”

I would even go as far to say Idris has dethroned Denzel, in your hearts, claiming his title as the new King of Irresistible.

But with millions of men on the planet, how is it that one man has so many women so captivated? Better yet, why is it? Is it because he has a smooth British accent, or as my cousin would say, that “smooth dark chocolate skin?” His stare, maybe?

I’m here to tell you, you love Elba for all those reasons, and some. I’ve spent time studying him in the hopes of helping women to better identify the exact characteristics that compel them to fall for a man. I also did it for the fellas, so we can fully understand the specific attributes that equal “sexy” to a woman. The bottom line is, there are several scientific reasons why women find men irresistible and Idris possess all of them. Here’s the breakdown.

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#GoodPeopleProject: Southern Girl in the City

#GoodPeopleProject: Southern Girl in the City

Danyelle is an old fashioned spirit with a modern twist.

In this first feature for the #GoodPeopleProject (a new series where I profile good people in search of something I believe my community can help with) we’re profiling a single woman who is looking for love. Our first entry features a good friend of mine, Danyelle, I call her “Danny.” We have a friendship that goes back 20 years to our college days. What follows is the story of who she is, why she’s “good people” and why you should get to know her. Fellas, if you’re interested in meeting Danyelle, please use the form below. Ladies, if you know someone in your network you believe is a good fit for Danyelle, help me play matchmaker! 

There’s nothing wrong with being a little old fashioned.

That’s what Danyelle of Alexandria, Va. believes. That there’s nothing wrong with believing in a marriage that can last forty years or more. There’s nothing wrong with loving God and being one with nature.  There’s nothing wrong with staying true to your roots – Danyelle is family-oriented and down-to-earth, while possessing a Christian-based humility and sense of stewardship.

But she’s tried to put a modern spin on it as a city-dweller.

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