8 Quick Ways To Detect A Non-Committal Man or Woman

When genuinely searching for a committed partner (leading to marriage), there is nothing worse than wasting your time with someone who is simply looking for quick sex, casual dating, or just a long-term hang out buddy. By my estimate, 80% or more of daters are not looking for anything serious and although I’m an advocate for “date practicing”, I’m not a proponent of giving your time or resources to a dead end partner.

If you find yourself debating whether the person you’re “dating” is non-committal, here are 8 quick ways to determine if he/she has long-term intentions:

non_committal_dating_m

1)   Aggressive Body Language

If he/she can’t keep their hands off you, even after you ask them, they’re exhibiting behavior that usually doesn’t go anywhere positive. Committed-minded men and women know and show respect, especially of your body.

 

2)   Long History of Non-Commitment

History is truly a good predictor of the future. This applies to most things in life including your relationships. A very telling question to ask your partner is “what have been the challenges for you finding the right person?” If their answer is anything connected with “I’m looking for the IDEAL partner” it might be time to get your running shoes! The “I’m in search of the PERFECT partner” answer is dangerous for many reasons. Namely because mature relationship seekers understand there is no such thing as partner perfection but rather it’s about compatibility.

 

3)   Large Gaps of Time When Communicating With You

My agency’s clients and the people we match them with are mostly busy professionals. After 6 years of matchmaking, one simple concept has remained true, [inlinetweet prefix=”” tweeter=”” suffix=””]effort always equals interest[/inlinetweet]. No matter how busy a client or match has been, if they had a genuine interest in a long-term relationship, they made time to communicate. Several days or weeks would never pass without a call, text, or visit. So if your partner mysteriously disappears on you, know it isn’t a mystery why.  They’re not into you (for committed purposes).

 

4)   Asks Few Questions & Makes More Statements

This one is tricky to determine, but a powerful indicator when detected. If the person you’re with rarely asks you questions or seeks to get your opinion, it might be time to jump ship! The desire for your thoughts and perspective will be strongest in those who are truly trying to assess long-term relationship potential.

 

5)   No Curiosity of Your Passions

Similar to interest in your thoughts (#4 above), a commitment-minded partner will also be interested in what you are passionate about. Why? The path to love is paved by the stones of desire. True romance is having a strong feeling of wanting to become as close as humanly possible, physically and emotionally. [inlinetweet prefix=”” tweeter=”” suffix=”null”]Love is three quarters curiosity ~Giacomo Casanova[/inlinetweet]

 

6)   Your Boundaries Are Continually Tested

When you give a courteous direction, like “I prefer not to introduce my children to anyone I’m dating until after several months” and then 2 weeks in the relationship you get from your partner, “Why haven’t I seen your kids, yet?” Make a note! If you have been clear about a boundary and your partner insists on (and even makes a game of) breaking it, that’s not someone who truly wants to be your better half, that’s someone who wants to bully you.

 

7)   His/Her Best Friends Are Non-Committal

The bottom line is birds of feather flock together. There are countless studies showing the similarities of values and characteristics in close friends. I know right now you’re doing a quick evaluation of your BFFs and if you think long enough about it, it’s true – your closest friends have more in common with you than not (which is why they’re your best friends). So do an evaluation of your partner’s best friends, and if their commonality is casual dating and hook-ups, chances are, that’s the same desire of your partner.

 

8)   He/She Tells You

Most non-committal men and women I know fit in this category. They straight-up tell the people they’re seeing they’re not interested in marriage. The problem is most people who date them, don’t take them at their word or worst yet, think they can change or reform them. Please write this down, take it to the bank and cash it: [inlinetweet prefix=”” tweeter=”” suffix=””]If a man or woman says he or she is not interested or unsure of “settling down,” take them at their word![/inlinetweet]

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About Paul C. Brunson
Mentor, Entrepreneur, & Television Host. My goal is to help you live your best life. I’m the world’s most influential matchmaker, founded and exited three businesses, host two television shows, spent nearly a decade working directly for a billionaire, and share my experiences by mentoring through Knowledge Share

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87 Comments on "8 Quick Ways To Detect A Non-Committal Man or Woman"

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sabadaga
Guest

Wow, I have just seen my last Relationship in the first part ( agressive body language )

Laketa Kitketakat Rendleman
Guest
Laketa Kitketakat Rendleman

Thank you making a change today! #Movingon

Kenya WriteNow
Guest

Lol @the pic, that sounds like something i have said before ;P (in the past!), but maybe it is more s/he’s just not that into you rather than being non- committal 😉

Lysa Bradford
Guest

These 8 quick detectors give great insight and bring to the surface slight hints that you are dating the wrong person, that you would otherwise miss. Thank you!!

Kimberly Crichlow
Guest

Wow….total flashbacks with this one. DEAD on.

Keisha Carmona
Guest

I love this! Great information…sometimes we need to be reminded…us savvy girls!

Elizabeth S. Anderson
Guest
Elizabeth S. Anderson

P.s, if s/he is more interested in entertaining the server or flight attendant than engaging you~move ON!

Actress Shakira
Guest

Wow I have to read this full article! Can’t now at work

Candice C Wright
Guest

This is true! Thank you for helping me move a long and to have a better standard for myself.

Valerie Yvonne Barmore
Guest
Valerie Yvonne Barmore

Great blog post. Thank you.

Tamara Alexander
Guest

Yup experienced it in my last mate all of what you said Mr. B!! Your words are so true about 8 signs he or she not in love with you. Thank you for info.

Selena Munoz
Guest

Wonderful article.

Dee Thompson
Guest

Awesome and insightful U0001f44d

PaulCBrunson
Guest

GreenMile08 yes!!!

Not Sure
Guest

Number 8 is very straight forward. However- if a person you’re dating says they want marriage and kids in the future (and has never been married before and currently have no children), but arent’t ready for a committed relationship now- is that considered the same as #8?

Not Sure
Guest

Number 8 is very straight forward. However- if you date someone in their 30’s who says they do want marriage/children in the future but is not ready for a committed relationship currently- should that be considered the same red flag at #8?

Lesley Ann
Guest

AMEN!!!

Cindy Chang
Guest

OMG I need this!

PaulCBrunson
Guest

taiQynchina much #respect

TaMara Brooks
Guest

Great article. … Krystal Roberts…interesting read….

Diane Rotherham
Guest

So true to a T

PhillyL
Guest

My ex was 1,2,6, &7. I’m SO glad I finally woke up and walked away!

Christine Hartzog-Meekins
Guest
Christine Hartzog-Meekins

Lol

Christine Hartzog-Meekins
Guest
Christine Hartzog-Meekins

You can be in love and not want marriage.

KerraDijon
Guest

GodsSoldier23 PaulCBrunson such truth in these statements! Wish I could RT 100 times!

Janice Rakestraw
Guest

Yea, right!

Natalie Bertschy
Guest

Hahahaha @-}-

Jeannetta Smith
Guest

Take THAT to the bank and cash it!

sugafree609
Guest

PaulCBrunson love this article! #momentofclarity #dating #blink

Beuna Gargala
Guest

Hmmm

Lisa
Guest

Wow!!  1,2 3, 4 & 6 were clues?  I needed this 6 months ago…Oh well…I’m wiser for the next time!!

Wendi Beeks
Guest

I feel like you’re spying on me…

Paul Carrick Brunson
Guest

Wendi Beeks 🙂

Tinzley Bradford
Guest

Why don’t people want to commit? I think that will be my next blog topic. With all that’s going on in today’s world, having ONE special person you know you can trust and who loves you should be the goal. Can’t be a player forever!!

Bridgette Boston
Guest

Yas!!!

Keenan L. White
Guest

Commitment comes with responsibility … a lot of people have so many responsibilities already that the work necessary to sustain a committed relationship doesn’t fit in a lot of people’s lifestyles.

Jalesa Tucker
Guest

Pilar Douglas

Evelyn Maria
Guest

On point!

Kim
Guest

Somebody from Preachers of LA needs to read this

niyiadisa
Guest

kemiogunniyi go to church

kemiogunniyi
Guest

niyiadisa mind your business :p I go to the evening service :p

Monica S. Gaspard
Guest

Raquel Tiggs here’s that article I was telling u about the other day

Shannon Clayton
Guest

These are the men I always meet! 🙁

Mignant Mickey Henderson- Thomas
Guest
Mignant Mickey Henderson- Thomas

I realized you must listen to the history. Most people tell you who they are initially we just don’t listen to them. I am sorry I wasted 10 years with a man who had a history of non commitment. We just never listen as women because we are happy for the attention. Engagement rings joint accounts will not make him committed. Thanks for the 8 ways to detect. Mines was a cop I believed him until I caught him.

PaulCBrunson
Guest

cvchick love that you liked it (and preach the same thing)!

Shan Anderson
Guest

Angela Williamson, hmmmmmmm! Doggone #2! 🙂

Namie Bimba
Guest

Lydia Abitbol Check out this article!

D Ramsey Hill
Guest

#5

Mickla Littlefoot
Guest

Check it out ladies NeSa Selome Tiffany

DrLCJ
Guest

#Confirmation of what I’ve dealt with and #GotGhost

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