7 Reasons Why I Hate Valentine’s Day

I’m about to write the one post you would never expect a professional matchmaker to write. So, first, let me clarify that I was actually a matchmaker. Yes, that was my “real” job and one that I loved.

This time of year is the Super Bowl of my industry – lots of events, lots of media attention, lots of new client requests. You would think I should just shut my mouth and enjoy the ride. However, I can’t…because I hate Valentine’s Day.

Hate Valentine's Day

Yes, that’s how I truly feel and let me give you the 7 reasons why…

1)  You get “penalized’ if you’re not in a relationship

Let’s face it, nothing is worse than being alone on Valentine’s Day. At least, that’s what our society tells us. Several studies suggest that being alone on Valentine’s Day can cause depression in both teenagers and adults.

2)  You get “penalized” if you’re in a relationship

I’ve been married 15 years and I still feel the stress to “make something extravagant happen” on Valentine’s Day. The pressure doesn’t come from my wife, but from everyone else who asks me (and my wife gets similar questions, too), “What big surprise are you planning for your wife this year, Paul?” “How many roses is she getting this year?” “You know girls love diamonds Paul, are you giving her some?” And on and on. The second she or I hint at doing something “low-key” on Valentine’s Day, the eyes start to roll.

3)  People make wild purchases they really can’t afford

Guess when the most profitable time of year for matchmakers and online dating sites is? That’s right, Valentine’s Day. I notice with my matchmaking agency this is the time of year when inquiries for services spike.

I’ve had many clients tell me that it was so important they attempt to find a mate that they have delayed buying a car they needed or they made other significant sacrifices – which indicates that this was not a service they could truly afford. This “holiday” drives a “desperation” on the part of many. And, as a result, price is no longer important (the sad thing is corporations know this, which brings me to my next point).

4)  We all get price-gouged

When would someone in their right mind pay $500 for a couple’s dinner, or $150 for flowers, or $75 for a box of chocolates? NEVER… except on Valentine’s Day. Nearly every business inflates their prices on Valentine’s Day. The crazy thing is, we all know about this artificial inflation and STILL line up to get ripped off.

5)  It prematurely forces people in or out of relationships

The days leading up to Valentine’s Day and the days right after are some of the busiest in the romance “game.” It probably doesn’t come as a surprise that days leading up to (and on) Valentine’s Day, are the most popular for proposals and exclusive dating commitments.

Care to guess what the days following Valentine’s Day are most popular for? That’s right, break-ups. I’m not saying these are couples would not have eventually committed to each other or broken up with each other, anyway. But, the Valentine’s Day season brings about feelings of “do or die,” and ultimatums never help a relationship.

6)  Kids are indoctrinated too young

My 3-year-old is ridiculously excited about Valentine’s Day. Almost too much so. What does he know about it? You give and get gifts. That’s it. I know this is where parents need to step in, but it’s damn hard when the country wraps up the Christmas holidays, and it feels like almost immediately after, every store inundates us with Valentine’s Day promotions. I chalk this up to corporate programming at it’s best (bringing me to my next point).

7)  Inappropriate focus on gifts

Love takes on many forms. According to Dr. Gary Chapman, we actually give and receive love in 5 ways, but if you were dropped on this planet on Valentine’s Day, you would think it’s all about gifts and nothing else. Buy this, buy this, buy this, is the theme EVERYWHERE we go and that messaging impacts us psychologically. So much so, that we’re programmed to believe gifts are the single most important tool to obtain and receive love (and it’s not – quality time is significantly more important).

 

Let me end by saying despite all this hating on Valentine’s Day I just did, I am, ironically, a romantic. However, the commercialization (of all holidays) just ain’t working. Sure, it generates billions of dollars and I’m sure some economists can trace that back to more jobs, country security, etc., BUT we’re being negatively impacted, as well. In my opinion, the corporate takeover of Valentine’s Day is doing far more harm than good for relationships today and, more importantly, relationships tomorrow.

 

 

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About Paul C. Brunson
Mentor, Entrepreneur, & Television Host. My goal is to help you live your best life. I’m the world’s most influential matchmaker, founded and exited three businesses, host two television shows, spent nearly a decade working directly for a billionaire, and share my experiences by mentoring through Knowledge Share

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331 Comments on "7 Reasons Why I Hate Valentine’s Day"

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RaeShanda Johnson
Guest

o.O Gotta read this one

Jenny Len Curtis
Guest

I agree with this

Chris Zwiener
Guest

It is a Hallmark holiday. You should do special things for your beloved at random, not on an “assigned” day

Heather Morse
Guest

Me too!

Dartesia A. Pitts
Guest

Oh…ok. lol

Lorena Garcia
Guest

I love Valentine’s day…

LaShun Taylor
Guest

I agree 100%

RaeShanda Johnson
Guest

Awesome. Everything listed was true. I just spent 100.00 for my children to give gifts to people I don’t even know! o.O

Michelle South
Guest

Amen i absolutely cant stand it lol .. its all a gimmick and dont mean nothing

Laura Poole
Guest

Me too.

Chandra de Keyser
Guest

Top!

Kermit Alexander King
Guest
Kermit Alexander King

Thank you for the explanations. I so wondered why beyond the initial reason of hype that you gave. I should’ve just come right out and asked you. lol!

Lchiha
Guest

PaulCBrunson number 6 , tell him its like christmas :-). Then again Valentine’s day has no impAct on me.I still do what I do

Kimberly Chandler
Guest

I agree 100%!

Ilona Orce Romodina
Guest

i love …bz i have lovly man next to me

msnifa_hanifa
Guest

PaulCBrunson I totally agree #8-couples become competitive and lose sight of showing real love & appreciation

Tashana Thecreativewriter Sims-Campbell
Guest
Tashana Thecreativewriter Sims-Campbell

OMG, I better not show this to my “I hate valentine’s day” husband lol…

Angele Rachelle Russell
Guest
Angele Rachelle Russell

Love this Paul; that’s a huge reason why the hubby and I limit our celebration to $25 each!

Henry Ikhimiukor
Guest

I think it depends on your perspective of valentine. Hating valentine’s day, is the same as hating Christmas day. For me its reminds me of how loved i am by my saviour, Jesus Christ.

teensb4parents
Guest

PaulCBrunson interesting &on point whn I was N a relationship I hated it whn I became SNGL I tolerated it &2day still being single I

Misty Romine
Guest

Me tooo

teensb4parents
Guest

PaulCBrunson (2) 2day still being single I embrace it & treat myself just bcause

Summer LaToria F
Guest

Match me

Ciquia C. Martin
Guest

Haha good points. All the commercialization down plays what V day is about. I agree that it’s important to show love in more ways than just buying gifts.

RobMcCabe
Guest

plus why should it all be limited to just valentine’s day. You have 364 other days in the year for love & quality time with your lover.

Jennifer Sam N
Guest

I don’t hate valentine..but I agree with your article..

2224Sharon
Guest

PaulCBrunson … Everyday is a gift, however I will be happy to see the day come and go. I’m one of the “penalized”… Doesn’t feel good

LaToya Owens
Guest

My husband and I do date nights just because we love each other……in fact….we just celebrated his birthday two weeks and don’t have to share with anyone!!!

Judy Cohall
Guest

And some people fake the funk. Buy flowers etc out of obligation when they really don’t even want to be in the relationship at all

Toya Barrett
Guest

Gasp!!!!

Alicia Bertine
Guest

Yes, Yes, YES!!!!! You are on point!

Juaquisha Bonet Truesdale
Guest
Juaquisha Bonet Truesdale

ThankYou THANK YOU THANK YOU the best post and blog i have ever read

Carolyn Daniels
Guest

Gosh so true.

Karen Gerrard
Guest

I totally agree with your 7 reasons. I’m single three years now, first time ever. Valentines is everyday with the right person and terrible with the wrong one. Now it’s all about “love” in general and spreading it around! It doesn’t take much to put a smile on someone’s face…go ahead try it tomorrow 🙂 make someone’s day, it will make yours too. It doesn’t have to be to celebrate “couples” only…just love in general ❤️

Andrea S Jenkins
Guest

I don’t like it either! Lol but not…

DixianoDix
Guest

I’m single and I’m not penalized. It is whatever to me. Even when I was in a relationship Valentine’s day wasn’t a big deal. This is just a time for sales to go up and some force their love. Love should be 365, 24/7. Spouses should be spontaneous and not be this extravagant on this day.

Kathi Shipman
Guest

it is so commercial…

Chevas Samuels
Guest

It’s commercialized. Another money grab.

Marie Bbk
Guest

exactly , agree with it all

Minivel Perez
Guest

I don’t care about it any more..i just reallized what a big mastake i did..

Eshasworld Copy
Guest

Never use the word hate but I understand…everyday should be love day

Ada Elizabeth Nakota
Guest

Sharing love is for everyday. Saint Valentine cared , the history has been taken out !
I try my hardest to show my new “Valentine” he is worth small and large effort every day, and how much i appreciate his time with me. Love is easy , but it’s important to maintain it everyday ! Surprising him with good home cooking….loves it 🙂

Larnisha Dortch Bowling
Guest
Larnisha Dortch Bowling

Me either !!!!!

Freda Sharrer
Guest

Amen

Mike Turner
Guest

Sorry to hear that

PaulCBrunson
Guest

2224Sharon agree sis.

PaulCBrunson
Guest

teensb4parents thanks reading and agreeing!

PaulCBrunson
Guest

msnifa_hanifa exactly.

D Ramsey Hill
Guest

I give to others and expect nothing in return

Charlene Cumberbatch
Guest

Ha

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