Don’t Get Married Unless You Can Answer These 24 Questions

Don’t Get Married Unless You Can Answer These 24 Questions

 

I dedicate this post to everyone struggling with how to define ‘marriage material.’ You’ve heard me talk ad nauseum about the importance of finding a partner that you’re attracted to, who matches your values, and compliments your personality. However, in order for someone to be marriage material, you need more. After all, a successful relationship must be based on more than just love to survive.

If you’re single, here are 24 important questions to ask yourself. If you’re in a relationship, these are great questions to discuss with your partner. You don’t have to be in complete agreement on each of these answers but you do need to be able to compromise if there are differences – if you can successfully do that, I say you have someone who is marriage material!

Family 

  1. Do you want children? If so, just one or a small tribe like Bob Marley?
  2. How do you prefer to spend the holidays? Chillin’ on the beach or doing something adventurous like hunting exotic animals with the Trump boys?
  3. How do you feel about relatives visiting? Are you for it or would you rather get a colonic?

 

Fiscal 

  1. When do you want to retire? Early at 40 or do you want to work to the grave?
  2. Do you invest conservatively or are you an aggressive “Bernie Madoff-return-wanting” somebody?
  3. What kind of lifestyle materially do you hope to achieve? Is driving a used Nissan Altima sufficient or must you have the latest Range Rover?

 

Health & Wellness 

  1. Do you want to compete in couples marathons or is channel surfing on the couch the most active you need to be?
  2. Is smoking a definitive no or do you let loose on 4/20?
  3. What is your chicken preference? Not on the plate, baked, or double fried in lard?

 

Intimacy 

  1. Do you realize there is a difference between intimacy and sex?
  2. How do you rate on the freak-o-meter? Are Zane books too tame or do you blush reading them?
  3. How frequent do you want sex? Daily like a good multivitamin or quarterly like an earnings report?

 

Spirituality

  1. Is it critical for you both to share the same religion and practice in the same manner? If so, why?
  2. What is the core code of conduct you live your life by? Do the Notorious BIG’s ’10 Crack Commandments’ suffice or do you live by something deeper?
  3. How do you see religious or spiritual beliefs being integrated with raising children?

 

Leisure

  1. How much private time do you need? 
  2. What pace do you want to live? Would a leisurely Dave Chappelle pace work or do you need to be on the move more frequently than Diddy?
  3. Are weekends and vacations code for ‘more time to work’ or are they opportunities to breakaway from the office?

 

Career

  1. Are you in a job or in a career? Do you want a job or career?
  2. Will your job/career define who you are or just pay the bills?
  3. Are you willing to relocate for you career or are you permanently home in the city you live?

 

Life-long Learning

  1. Are you interested in getting seven PhD’s or is that bachelors of science you have adequate?
  2. What dreams do you have around achievement? Are you interested in training to belly dance in Istanbul so you can open your own school or something less ambitious?
  3. What values around academics and achievement do you feel most important to teach your children?  

 

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About Paul C. Brunson
Mentor, Entrepreneur, & Television Host. My goal is to help you live your best life. I’m the world’s most influential matchmaker, founded and exited three businesses, host two television shows, spent nearly a decade working directly for a billionaire, and share my experiences by mentoring through Knowledge Share

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35 Comments on "Don’t Get Married Unless You Can Answer These 24 Questions"

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Brittany Lieteau
Guest

In the event there is an argument, do you tend to shut down? Immediately talk about it to resolve the issue?… or take a step back to get your thoughts together and then try to resolve the issue?

Paul Carrick Brunson
Guest

I like these questions, we actually ask these in our matchmaking client & member intake. Thanks for adding!

Neya B
Guest

How do you deal with adversity in life? Do you retreat and go off the grid or do you stay above water and communicate?

Paul Carrick Brunson
Guest

Great questions!

jojoronelle
Guest

Anyone is marriage material…it just depends what you want your marriage to be based on, and then people get filtered out according to your relationship priorities. I.e if money is a deciding factor, then people with money will be the material requirement (sweaty people don’t wear silk!, just as athletes don’t wear jeans and woolly jumpers to run). Decide your filters, then the material will emerge

superior cooper
Guest

Intimacy- How do you define cheating? Having inappropriate feelings for someone you interact with daily, a kiss, intercourse, or giving more affection and time to “a friend” than you give your spouse?

Libby
Guest

How do you deal with conflict? Do you shut down, need space, or find time to communicate?

Adjoa Panyin Winful
Guest

Are you looking for someone who will be an equal partner or one you want to dominate or be subservient to?

TiffanyMarie1
Guest
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How I Got My Husband Back Testimony,Powerful Love
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How I Got My Husband Back Testimony,Powerful Love
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NatashaHayes
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How To Get Your Ex Back Fast I was going crazy when my husband left me and my two kids for another woman. My husband and I have been married for about 7 yrs now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone else. He started coming home late from work, he hardly care about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn’t even come back home… Read more »
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