8 Ways To Put The Romance Back In Your Relationship

8 Ways To Put The Romance Back In Your Relationship

“Love is like a campfire: It may be sparked quickly, and at first the kindling throws out a lot of heat, but it burns out quickly. For long lasting, steady warmth (with delightful bursts of intense heat from time to time), you must carefully tend the fire.” ~ Molleen Matsumura

No matter how perfectly matched you are with your partner, there will be a time when the romance wanes. I recall always hearing stories about the “5 year itch” – a term used to describe when married couples reach an inflection point. Each time I heard about this “itch” I completely dismissed it as a real possibility for my wife and me. After all, we were the “perfect couple” (aligned values, rarely fought, passionate). Then, in what felt like an outer body experience, there my wife and I were in years 5 and 7 of our marriage going through what felt like hurricane Katrina.

I’m happy to tell you we survived (we recently celebrated 12 years of marriage) and in many ways are stronger and better connected than ever.  The lessons I learned can be applied to any couple (married or not) seeking to regain that spark. The following 8 methods will help you to regain the romance in your relationship.

 

1) Evaluate Values

I often talk about the importance of aligned values when searching for the “perfect partner” – the same concept applies to maintaining interest in a lover, long-term. When two people grow apart, typically what’s happening is the values they originally shared, are no longer aligned. Now I’m not saying that when the romance in the relationship fades, it’s due to growing apart, but this topic of ‘misaligned values’ must be visited. It’s unhealthy to pursue “romantic enhancement tactics” if your values are out of sync – that’s like handing someone a Band-Aid for a broken arm.

 

2) Identify Love Language and Deliver It

This is an important step but rarely executed. Dr. Gary Chapman’s “Five Love Languages” book really should be required reading for everyone interested in having a romantic relationship. The book describes the various love languages we all ‘speak.’ Knowing your partner’s love language is fundamental in a relationship because while you can love someone with every fiber in your body, unless you are conveying that love in a way they can understand it, they’ll never truly feel loved (and desired).

 

3) Be Adventurous

This is one area that the biological research is clear. Doing novel things together, as a couple, will increase dopamine levels in the brain. Romantic connection is largely connected with dopamine, a chemical known to affect emotions. Unique activities include everything from trying new restaurants, taking up a new hobby or traveling to a destination you have never been together. For a major dose of dopamine, add a new position or location to your sex life.

 

4) Consistency

“Don’t start nothin’ you ain’t willin to maintain” is another bit of brilliant pre-marital advice I often heard. Committed relationships require “sticktoitiveness.” When you think back to the beginning of the relationship, there were dates, flowers, appreciation, compliments, sweet gestures and messages. You also most likely touched a lot more. I’m talking about all types of touching – hand holding, hugging, caressing and cuddling, as well as more intimate touch and sex.  Bring back those early relationship days by making time for romantic gestures, DAILY.  And if you find that you don’t know what to do, don’t be afraid to ask your partner what they need and want.

 

5) The Element of Surprise

An unexpected gesture or gift is always welcome as long as it is something you know your partner will be interested in (which underscores the importance of listening to them to determine their desires).  Don’t you love the look on a loved one’s face when you’ve presented them with something unexpected and kind?  There’s almost more enjoyment for you than for the person on the receiving end.

 

6) “Me” Time

Spending lots of time together is key to maintaining a relationship, but there is such thing as too much of a good thing.  Allow yourself and your partner time away to rejuvenate for the sake of the individual and the relationship. This could be a girls night out, regularly scheduled gym activity, or simply curling up in a room with just you and your favorite book. Using this time properly will build up your foundation of appreciation and trust, thus strengthening your bond.

 

7) Date Night

Maybe you’ve noticed that your schedules are so hectic these days that there’s hardly time to sit at the table together and have breakfast.  Just as you make time for important meetings at work, do it at home. Now that my wife and I have a young son, a night out on the town is hard to come by, but we haven’t let that ruin our date night.  Instead, our typical date night consists of Red Stripe and a mean game of Boggle – our favorite game!

 

8) Include a Professional

Therapy is a word that is scary to many couples. However, be aware that counseling does not break couples up or even hold them together. Couples counseling is about helping the couple communicate better and understand what is going on. When it’s just too frightening to even bring issues up — from sex to money, or even annoying little habits that are being blown out of proportion, a therapist’s job is to help the couple become clear about their issues and to help them understand what they are truly talking about.

 

For discussion: What other ideas do you have on keeping the romance alive?

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About Paul C. Brunson
Mentor, Entrepreneur, & Television Host. My goal is to help you live your best life. I’m the world’s most influential matchmaker, founded and exited three businesses, host two television shows, spent nearly a decade working directly for a billionaire, and share my experiences by mentoring through Knowledge Share

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195 Comments on "8 Ways To Put The Romance Back In Your Relationship"

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Chris Zwiener
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Great article and so glad you mention the “Love Languages.” Dr. Chapman’s books are brilliant.

Sherlyne xxoo
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Great article!

Jane234
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HelenTracia
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udenesolutionspell
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MY NAME IS MARIAN,I promise to share this testimony all  over the world once my husband return back to me, and today with all due respect i want to thank DR.UDENE for bringing joy and happiness to my relationship and my family. I want to inform you all that there is a spell caster that is real and genuine. I never believed in any of these things until i loosed my boyfriend,I required help until i found DR.UDENE a great spell caster, And he cast a love spell for me, and he assured me that I will get my husband… Read more »
Essay writer service
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If, you are craving for love, which seems
to be missing in your relationship, then you should try to become more closer
to your beloved and try to resolve the issues patiently.

Quotes to live by
Guest

It will not difficult to rekindle the love
bonds with your beloved if you know what makes him feel happy, and plan a
surprise accordingly.

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Monica120Johnson
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DanAnelos
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After being in relationship for 6 years,my husband broke up with me all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I emailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no… Read more »
TiffanyMarie1
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Help to restore broken relationships and marriage! My husband and I have been married for about 7 yrs now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone. He started coming home late from work, he hardly care about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn’t even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no… Read more »
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It’s awesome and amazing. My name is Robin from the United States. Getting my wife back is what i least expected and could ever imagine. I and my wife have been married for Eleven years and we have been living happily but all of a sudden she changed completely and turned away from me but i never knew what was going on, and i tried to ask her but she refused to tell me what the problem is, and as time went on she sought for a divorce. I was so worried and confused. During my search for a way… Read more »
bellamoore
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(How i got my husband back) My husband and i have live together for 15yrs and married for 11yrs and he divorce me 3months ago. I was worried and so confuse because i love him so much and i need him back home, i was really going too depressed and it has affect me so much that i feel my life have come to an end. One day a friend of mine told me about this spell caster called Dr Kala who can help me get my husband back and she told me many people are talking about him all… Read more »
AnnThomas
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Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my husband after three(3) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was Surfing on the internet i saw a post on how this great spell caster on this Website  have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his website http://solutionhomespellcaster.com and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will… Read more »
TroyJustine
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What a wonderful spell caster that has brought back Husband to my life, I am Troy Justine from Ohio, When I eventually found testimonies about this spell caster Dr.Ken, how he helped many people to get their lovers and broken homes back, i contacted him through because I was absolutely desperate to get my husband back. Life without my husband was a real mess for me and my children. i wanted a dramatic change and I thought love spell could be the solution. After discussing the resolution with Dr Ken, he gave me hope that he will restore my marriage… Read more »
TroyJustine
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What a wonderful spell caster that has brought back Husband to my life, I am Troy Justine from Ohio, When I eventually found testimonies about this spell caster Dr.Ken, how he helped many people to get their lovers and broken homes back, i contacted him through because I was absolutely desperate to get my husband back. Life without my husband was a real mess for me and my children. i wanted a dramatic change and I thought love spell could be the solution. After discussing the resolution with Dr Ken, he gave me hope that he will restore my marriage… Read more »
MuhammadSubhan1
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My Name is Juliet Adrian,i live in California,i have a big testimony to say to the people who have Womb problem, I have been married for five years without any child, nor pregnancy and so i became very sad and lost hope in life because my doctor told me there is no way for me to get pregnant and this really make life so hard for me and this made my husband to turn away from me.My sister in-law told me about Dr Erigo from the Internet,how he has helped people with this similar problem that i am going through… Read more »
DonnaJane
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WOW!! This is the most wonderful thing i have ever experience and i  need to share this great testimony.. I’m DONNA JANE from  Germany. I visited a forum here on the internet on the 19TH April  2016, And i saw a marvelous testimony of this powerful and great  spell caster called DR Oti on the forum.. (  relationshipblessing@yahoo.com )I never believed it, because i never  heard nor learnt anything about magic before.. No body would have  been able to convince me about magical spells, not until DR Oti  did  a marvelous work for me and restored my marriage of 7… Read more »
CandyceeObatay
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My name is SANDRA FOXX from USA .I am here to give testimony on how I got my husband back. My husband left me for no reason 3 years ago. He moved in with another woman, I felt like killing myself, my life became very bitter and sorrowful. Then 1 day, a friend of mine told me about a great spell caster that is very good and, he said he gave him some lucky numbers that he played in a lottery and he won. I didn’t believe it because I’ve worked with so many of them and it didn’t work.… Read more »
TinaBecky
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I am making this testimony on the internet because i made a vow to myself and DR BELLO that i will tell the world about his wonderful spell. Dr BELLO has wiped my tear with his spell, He has made me happy again by helping me get my Husband back with his spell after 8 months of divorce. Dr BELLO is truly a God on Earth sent by Almighty God to help man kind. My husband left me 8 months ago and be with another woman and he told me he does not love me any more and ever since… Read more »
How I Got My Husband Back Testimony,Powerful Love
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How I Got My Husband Back Testimony,Powerful Love
Good news to share with everyone here about how i got my husband back when he Want a Divorce and left me for another woman. My Names is Natasha Hayes from London,UK. My husband and I have been married for about 7 yrs now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone else. He started coming home late from work, he hardly care about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes… Read more »
AkhavanKazem
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My names is AKHAVAN ELHAM KAZEM, I want to use this opportunity to thank Dr. kumalo Abegbe(a Spiritualist) for his wonderful Spiritual works he did for me and my family, bringing back my husband after a Divorce he was snatched away from me by another Woman. If you have any issues as such and needs spiritual help Here are his contact details, Direct line also on Whats app: +27 78 089 7646. Email: dr.kumaloabegbe@gmail.com .Website: http://www.nativitycarecenter.com His specialisation in Healing with 100% African herbs,Indotalisman and Arabic method is What makes Dr.KUMALO ABEGBE so powerful in healings all kinds of Diseases… Read more »
ErikaHenriksen
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My husband and I are married for 33 years. We raised 4 children together. Just recently my husband had to go out of state for his job. In that time frame I realized I’m still in love with him since the day we met 35 yrs ago. I decided to try something I haven’t done before and I hope he will love it. My daughter just told me about this book and here I am and found this website. So I will try to find the book

RyanIsabella1
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My name is Ryan Isabella From USA,I read some testimonies about a love spell caster by DR KENDA  on how he has helped lots of people in bringing back their ex lovers within 48 hours, Sincerely I was  just thinking if that was real and if this man could really help bring back my lover whom I love so much. I decided to contact him because I love my boyfriend very much and we have been apart for a couple of months I really missed him so much, I have tried all other means to get him back but couldn’t.… Read more »
bensonelizabeth
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Hello I am Benson Elizabeth from U.S.A… My life is restored for good. To cut the long story short,after 2 years of break up with my Husband with no phone calls or email messages. i was so frustrated because i have contacted so many other spell casters with no results. when i read about Almighty Ajaguna (The Chief Of spell casters) I never wanted to contact any spell caster because I have being scammed by those who claim to be spell casters ….I decided to contact him because I have heard so much of his good works from my friends… Read more »
NatashaHayes
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How To Get Your Ex Back Fast I was going crazy when my husband left me and my two kids for another woman. My husband and I have been married for about 7 yrs now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone else. He started coming home late from work, he hardly care about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn’t even come back home… Read more »
NatashaHayes
Guest
How To Get Your Ex Back Fast I was going crazy when my husband left me and my two kids for another woman. My husband and I have been married for about 7 yrs now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone else. He started coming home late from work, he hardly care about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn’t even come back home… Read more »
MarkGodswin
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Me and my ex-wife at all times have always tried to stay friendly over again after our divorce which occurred in early September. But Dr alexzander you are not going to believe this. she is back!!! Yes, she really came back in 24 hours just as you guaranteed Sir. Now I’m fully persuaded that you are a legit and authentic spell caster and your web site is the best I have ever come across. This is so mind-boggling for me. Emily is back!!! I haven’t by any means experienced something like this before. Thank you so much Dr alexzander. I… Read more »
KellerHeather
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My husband left me to be with another woman. and wanted him back. i was jealous and it made us argue all the time until he vanished away, I was desperate to get him back, I wasted so much time and money on getting my lover back after I have tried almost all possibilities to have him back and nothing worked. I became lonely for 2 years. To make it short, I found a spell caster Manifest Spell by accident. I don’t know how I found him and i cant remember. But, when I first saw the good testimonies about… Read more »
DonaldJoy1
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My name is Donald joy. Out of respect for you and your spells I must make this testimony known to all. I’ve been to other spell casters without seeing any progress, just wished I came to you earlier,i got the best from you. My boyfriend was gone for a year and I went everywhere and other spell casters for help but no good result until my friend introduce me to Dr.lucafo.he told me to just do everything he ask and all will be fine,which i did and after the amazing Spell was done, I finally got a call from my boyfriend… Read more »
VickyJarvis
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Real Love spell to Get My Ex Back Fast!, My husband broke up with me after 14years of marriage,I was so frustrated and i could not know what next to do again, i love my husband so much but he was cheating on me with another woman and this makes him broke up with me so that he can be able to get marry to the other lady and this lady i think use witchcraft on my husband to make him hate me and my kids and this was so critical and uncalled-for,I cry all day and night for God… Read more »
roxanabush44
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After being in relationship with my husband for nine years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I… Read more »
singh0009
Guest
Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Am Singh Darren from NY, USA. My wife EX husband used a spell on my wife and she went back to him. I felt heart broken for i didn’t know how to get her back. I did all i could do to get her back with her close friends but nothing worked out. So, in my place of work, i tried searching for help online and i found various testifiers of how a Doctor named Osemu has been faithful & helpful with his spells. I gave it a try by… Read more »
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