What Do You Like To Eat? (Why Online Dating Bites)

What Do You Like To Eat? (Why Online Dating Bites)

I have a love-hate relationship with online dating. On one hand, we can’t deny it’s creating marriages but on the other hand, we can’t deny it’s creating headaches…big, serious, migraine ones.

My firm manages dating accounts for our clients and over the years, I’ve witnessed just about all the good and bad online has to offer. Sure, having clients meet their spouse or someone who becomes a great friend happens but more often than not, the result is different. The frustrating part is so many people online initially appear promising but do just one thing so wack, there’s no possibility of a comeback.

Enter “Mr. Diplomat”.

Here’s a man who was corresponding with a female client of mine. After reviewing his profile, doing a Google search on him, and exchanging a first message, we thought he was GREAT; youthful, successful, handsome, God-fearing. Then, with his second message we learned about Mr. Diplomat’s diet, and it all went down hill, fast!

(The following is the actual message he sent to my client). Read closely.

Good Morning,

I’m sorry I haven’t been prompt in my response to your message.  I am so busy. We have a team from the Ministry of Finance of my country attending some meetings with me for the next few days. These meetings take place twice every year when officials from departments of treasury from various countries meet in DC. Now, let me answer your questions from the last email you sent:

I left my country for my diplomatic posting a few years ago, but I do regularly visit every year. Most of my travels abroad were before I became a diplomat.

Favorite food you asked? No, I do not have any, but I do enjoy grilled chicken. In my country, we eat cooked corn meal (thick porridge) with meat, chicken, fish and/or vegetables.  We also eat rice and potatoes. And what meal would bring me a smile? To be honest, I like eating clean-shaven pussy. I hope to enjoy yours one day very soon.

You asked about my faith. I grew up in a Christian family, and I believe in God and put Him first in everything I do.  I pray every day before going to bed and first thing when I arrive in my office. Whatever I do is done to the glory of Almighty.

What attributes am I looking for in a woman? My ideal woman should have beauty; be God-fearing, respectful, and humble; sharp and intelligent; good cook (also be able to bake); good sense of humor/entertaining; good companion; not selfish; should relate well with my extended family; and this last attribute is very important…she must be loving and sweet in bed.

I would love to meet you in person. I look forward to seeing you soon.

Someone pass the extra strength Advil please!

QUESTION FOR DISCUSSION: How would you react to a message like this? He’s clearly being honest. Would you delete this guy from your contact list? Would you message him back with some “education”? Or would you do something else?

 

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About Paul C. Brunson
Mentor, Entrepreneur, & Television Host. My goal is to help you live your best life. I’m the world’s most influential matchmaker, founded and exited three businesses, host two television shows, spent nearly a decade working directly for a billionaire, and share my experiences by mentoring through Knowledge Share

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75 Comments on "What Do You Like To Eat? (Why Online Dating Bites)"

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MsG312
Guest

LMAO!

keisha brown
Guest

ha! that’s tame. sad, hilarious but tame. sigh.

A
Guest

WTF!!! Yuck-o. LOL

Tina
Guest

It sick and discouraging this man thinks that was ok.

Another?
Guest

Disappointing. I was intrigued, thinking I was reading an informational post regarding online dating, and it ended up being about yet another douche bag unable to control his jr. member.

karen_gilbreath2003
Guest

OMG!!! It sounded so promising at the beginning of the email and then BAM! Right out of left field!! I would not spend 5 seconds returning email! I would delete his name out of my contacts list and everything else ASAP!!

UdonNo
Guest

just cuz he likes to eat pussy?? do you know how many women complain that they cant find a man to do that… lol

Iridescent
Guest

LOL now that I can definitely agree with…I thank my lucky stars that I have never met a man who doesn’t like to

and hope that I never will

onyxqueenmedia
Guest

WOW…he said it all nonchalant-like…SMH…RED FLAG there huh? LOL!

michaelrdaniels
Guest

Breathless! More evidence that I should avoid online dating!

Morgan
Guest

I am saying! When I started reading it was like, “okay this isn’t bad”, then BAM! I am not a prude or anything, but THAT just blew him out of the water. Some of my friends have suggested online dating…..this is a contributing factor as to why I say NO!

catina
Guest

the exact same reason i hate on line dating. it seems men don’t know how to date anymore just go straight to the bed. they do not understand that it makes us feel used like a piece of meat

UdonNo
Guest

oh please–online dating is tailor made for women! each day you open your inbox to dozens of messages and you can ignore or pick who ever you wanna have spend money on you–

Chas
Guest

It seems you’ve been on the spending end and sound bitter about it. Rather it’s online or in person, the expectation is that you’ll be paying for dates so I don’t understand this comment. Furthermore, men do the same to us as well. I’ve winked at men and sent email messages and no replies. You can’t take it personally. Everyone has a preference rather you meet them online or in person.

UdonNo
Guest

YOU GOT NO REPLIES CUZ UR PICS ARE WACK. SIMPLE.

Kirsten Rettig
Guest

This is the exact reason I dread even browsing profiles anymore. The last guy I talked to (from online dating) was so focused on that, I decided against meeting him or talking with him anymore.

Juliann Butler-Green
Guest

Are you freaking kidding me??? That’s why I keep I can’t stand online dating. I have seen some NUTS in my few experiences but this is just awful!!! I won’t even tell you my experience. It just as bad. Good luck weeding through the trash!

TL
Guest

This is sad that he can talk about sex with a woman who is not his wife and who he does not even know past one online conversation and in that same conversation talk about how God-fearing he is. God-fearing means you respect and revere God. Sexual immorality is not respectful to God nor does it glorify him in any way.

Christina
Guest

He would be deleted,you cannot go from god fearing to down right ok this is what im.going to do to u in the bed…omg,thats for the bedroom if thats the way you like to be talk to then you will except but i think its dis tasteful nasty!!!

JT
Guest
but keep in mind, even if she had met this guy in person [vs meeting him online], he would have been just as crude in person…eventually…during conversation. Maybe sometimes, online gives some liquid ‘courage’ to say things that may not say in person, but I’m a firm believer in that the folks online are often also the folks you meet out in every day life, no different…even the schiesters…folks were rude and crude and running games long before online dating. So, I wouldn’t rule out dating based on this clown’s comment…just like in every day life, you keep on stepping.
Brian
Guest

That is hilarious!!! Inappropriate, but still funny and my guess is the reason he felt so comfortable saying that is because it has worked with other people, Sadly

JT
Guest

STILL….I wasn’t sure WHAT Paul was talking about. I’m thinking “is this about fried chicken or something stereotypical” and then I read the letter and fell out my chair.

ButterflyMiss
Guest

I would definitely message him back with some “education” and let him know that his message was offensive to me. People don’t know how their actions and words affect us unless we tell them. If the conversation persisted in that direction I would have to delete him. This has happened to me before and I have done just as I explained…in that order. It hasn’t turned me off to online dating so I’m still hopeful.

Guest
Guest

First of all, my brotha, you can NOT follow your obscene statement and disrespect her with how you’re a man of God. Please Jesus Fix it and fix him! I can NOT.

Fee Watkins
Guest

I’m thinking mental illness…This email reads like the rantings of a nut job. He vacillates between intelligent, thoughtful, crude, grandiose, and offensive like someone who suffers from a personality disorder. Any “relationship” with such a person is almost guaranteed to be a tumultuous event. So yes, that Advil will definitely be needed.

Al
Guest

This is a cross-cultural snafu that can resolved. If i were the woman, I would meet him for coffee. Politely and nicely tell him that his response was offensive. While it may be acceptable in his culture, here is a deal breaker. This guy saw or heard someone taking about eating “IT” and thinks women are impressed by being “eaten”. I’d tell him to focus on improving his manners and move-on with the hope he’s going to be an ass again! No need to be hostile to the diplomat!!

Noni
Guest

At least he is honest and you can exit before entering a relationship. This is reality and many people are just about sex. This is a door that you want closed and thankfully he was straight forward; thus, keep it moving!

Adrienne
Guest
I had to laugh when I read this message. This is the harsh reality of the “dating” world not just online. I don’t think it was THAT bad, but it was a bit much considering they haven’t spoken a lot. He was HONEST. I mean she can choose to reply to him in whatever manner she feels nessecary, but he was honest. LOL We say we want honesty but when the “ish” gets TOO real we want to be offended. There are a lot of men and/or women that think in this manner (something you are wanting or expecting but… Read more »
Lizzie Lang
Guest

SO AGREED!!

Shontie
Guest

So agreed!

Khoko
Guest
I’m sure guys think that. They just don’t say it. I actually give him credit for being honest. When men are honest and transparent, it gives women the opportunity to make an informative decision before wasting much time and effort. I think what he said is inappropriate, and his response is crawling with red flags, but I would rather be shocked now rather than 6 months later. If I’ve never met you or we’re just in the getting to know each other phase, it’s not really a big deal. I wouldn’t delete him, but I wouldn’t respond either. I would… Read more »
Heathcliff Cosby
Guest

Awesome!….That’s straight and to the point.

Jrose
Guest

Delete, delete, delete! Also for someone who is God fearing, should not bring up the topic of sex in the very first encounters. Online dating is so scary nowadays.

syj
Guest

This is not just happening online it happens when I meet guys on the train, grocery store, gym or wherever!!! A lot of men are just rude and don’t know the first thing about how to talk to a woman!!!! Don’t blame online dating blame society! smh

Erika
Guest

I agree with the comments that this might be a cultural issue. Either saying something like that to a woman you barely know is okay in his native country or he thinks that’s acceptable in the US based on what he’s seen on American television or in the media. I might not continue to pursue him but I think it’s fair to let him know that what he said was offensive and why.

Natasha N. Jones
Guest

LOL

UdonNo
Guest

this is why online dating is great! u can find out what you like and dont like BEFORE you meet! and you can screen your picks–some girls will drop this guy–while other might get excited by his honesty..

TRS
Guest

I agree!

Lizzie Lang
Guest
This is absolutely hysterical!!!! Hey she asked a question and he gave a very honest answer, I will not knock him. If you found the answer offensive this dude is not for you. He answered all of her questions in his way. Did he bring up the physical, YES, but men are wired that way, whether online or not. If it were me, I would want to meet face to face to see if the conversation is strictly physical or if email is the way he shows his mannish side. Men say thing via email and text that they will… Read more »
Haniplease
Guest

i’d ignore his message. he’s trash and someone this doggone stupid isn’t worthy of a response. but lo, most sistas will “treat/educate.cuss/fight” his whackass… BOOOOOO on this BUM!

TheBlackTinaFey
Guest
Let’s be clear. Mr. Diplomat has zero diplomacy and even less tact. This is unacceptable on so many levels. But, I fear this may be a cultural issue more than anything. From the food preferences and the general attitude, I’m guessing this gentleman (in every stretch of the word) is probably from the continent of Africa. I am NOT lumping everyone in one boat – forgive the pun – but cultural differences must be taken into account when you’re assessing compatibility. The term “Americanized” is real. I once dated a man who was from Ivory Coast and spent part of… Read more »
TRS
Guest

I have dated American men that have said worse.

NMP
Guest

The problem is not his level of honesty but the placement of his answer I think. An innocent question about food that leads to an answer so sexually explicit is… off putting. If this conversation ocurre in real life – I think I would walk (run) away…. it’s a little creepy.

Tonya Lynette Gordon
Guest

Amen!

MandaPanda
Guest

At first I commented on facebook in disagreement but I kept thinking about it throughout the day , as inappropriate as it may seem…..hell am happy to know he loves to EAT, and I will gladly allow him too…… after our wedding! #commodity

Sherlyne xxoo
Guest

OMG!!! At least he was honest about what he likes to eat… Lol… However he should save this little bit of information for when OR if the relationship get serious.

Guest
Guest

One more thing, if I would receive and email like this one, I would just delete it and block him.

Kate Cuskelly
Guest

he sounds very self centered and a tad controlling ….anyone to try and even match up to this request is failing miserabley even if they match up …..sounds like he’s a perfectionist …all expectations set so high will lead to disappointment on both ends …..he can snooker himself but he wouldnt fool me …….first impressions id sign off and sign out …delete him where he belongs …..interesting post ….all the red flags are literally on fire here …and reading between the lines it doesnt take a brain surgeon to know what hes really about ……..sigh ……………

Sunshine
Guest

If he is so busy, then online dating is not for him. Online dating are people who are now ready for a connection. I understand people need a life, but it needs to be welcoming for a relationship to grow. Yes, I am going to over look the other remarks he made because I couldn’t get first.

Melody
Guest

He sounds like a perv to me…

Diva
Guest

I definitely think some of his issues are cultural, but I also detect signs of a person that will be controlling in a relationship, and sometimes this is also cultural. In many other countries the women are expected to be obedient sweet beautiful cooks, that are dynamic in bed. He may want his women intelligent and sharp, but not sharp tounged. Meaning keep your opinions to yourself. If he is looking for an American woman, I’m afraid he will be single for a while!

Donnie
Guest

I’ve had similar encounters with online dating & I either ignore the message or respond accordingly. For instance, I received a message from a guy asking “R u a freak.” My response was “R u retarded?” My experience with online dating has been mostly misses, not enough hits. It does make you a little weary in the pursuit of a relationship. The biggest difference I’ve seen is that guys I’m sure wouldn’t approach me in person hit up my online profile. It’s definitely made my experiences more interesting.

SHON
Guest

CONTROL-ALT-DELETE.

YES Indeed!!
Guest

I like this guy! The man has a great sense of humor. He clearly enjoys eating out and he love the Lord. If he had changed the wording order of his letter, and waited to reveal certain details about his bedroom preferences he may have been married by now.

GG
Guest

CLT-ALT-DELETE!

Ruth Charlton
Guest

He’s honest. Which is fair and appreciated. But he is not looking for a mate, just sex. Delete him and move on.,

Mel
Guest

He gets the straight up DELETE. Uggh, no class having….

CARONISM
Guest

I’ll be back. I have to pick my jaw up off the floor.

CARONISM
Guest
Ok, so I must say, I kinda like him. It was almost refreshing in the midst of so much appropriateness. Would I date him? Probably not, but he got my attention. IJS, people fit in different places – he may not be made for marriage right now, but he may be better suited for maintenance! How seriously would you really take someone you have never seen? If you don’t like it, move on. I would much rather him mention a good lickety-split after dinner than to have a response full of typos and supreme boredom. If nothing else, dude was… Read more »
Marverra Dewitt
Guest

I would delete then block..then he goes into th God talk and all. A Texas size headache.

Lisa
Guest

#Block and #Delete

Case Closed.

Newbeginning Forbes
Guest

Oh really am left with no words…He can not be serious…seriously! Thats what I call double minded.

TRS
Guest
EDUCATE and DELETE but actually in this case just DELETE. If he is smart, he will know why or think that I am an atheist. The problem with education is the back and forth transference of energy AND just because I would find him unattractive there might be another woman online that likes it. When things like this come up, I always hear, “He wouldn’t use it if it didn’t work.” Although I don’t believe that, I do believe just because that would not catch me (It wasn’t really the pu$$y comment, but the God and pu$$y in the same… Read more »
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