15 Ways To Know If You’re Dating a Man or Boy

15 Ways To Know If You’re Dating a Man or Boy

Let’s be clear: not every boy becomes a man. When dating, knowing how to distinguish between the two will save you time, energy, money and even heartache.

Here are 15 ways you can separate the men from the boys

1. What Are His Priorities?

A man does first what needs to be done, but a boy does only what he wants to do.

 

2. Does He Have Goals?

“The man is aiming at a goal; the boy is drifting aimlessly.” — Author Unknown

 

3. How Responsible Is He?

Men make and keep commitments, boys don’t. Think about it.

 

4. How Does He Refer to You?

Boys want a “wifey.” Men want a “wife.”

 

5. Can He Communicate?

A boy tells you about his day. A man will ask you about yours – and listen.

 

6. Does He Have a Strong Work Ethic?

Boys consume. Men produce. Case closed.

 

7. Can You Trust Him?

You can put your trust in a man. Your trust is always lost with a boy. No exceptions.

 

8. Does He Know Who He Is?

Boys dress, talk and act like everyone else. Men emulate no one and form their own identity.

 

9. Does He Want to Stimulate His Mind?

Men are never afraid to ask questions. Boys think they have it all figured out.

 

10. Is He Serious About His Future?

Boys chase girls and women. Men chase family. #realtalk

 

11. Does He Ever Pick Up the Phone?

Boys send text messages. Men call. Again, no exceptions.

 

12. What Is His Purpose?

Boys exist in stagnation. Men embrace change.

 

13. Does He Have Baggage?

Boys have more liabilities. Men possess more assets.

 

14. How Does He Handle the First Date?

Boys split the check. Men (always!) pay.

 

15. Does He Consider Others?

Boys are selfish. Men are selfless.

 

While none of us “have it all together,” it’s supremely important to only invest your time, energy, and emotions into a partner (or a potential partner) who is not only committed to his own betterment, but yours, as well. If you can answer these 15 questions confidently, then congratulations! You just may have found a man.

 

 

 

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About Paul C. Brunson
Mentor, Entrepreneur, & Television Host. My goal is to help you live your best life; in love and professionally. I’m the world’s most influential matchmaker, founded and exited three businesses, host two television shows, spent nearly a decade working directly for a billionaire, and share my experiences by mentoring and coaching thousands of people.
211 comments
Judit Harsanyi
Judit Harsanyi

When it starts as a distance relationship, do you think #11 still holds true?

Sean Marq
Sean Marq

This is common sense not what a person should tolerate or discern between men and boys.

Sable Jackson
Sable Jackson

April Shentel, we must discuss this chica!!!!

MarisaLeigh
MarisaLeigh

I'm back to dating after 9yrs trying to make a relationship and family work with a grown boy. It was exhausting and self-defeating. But, I must say the single dating life is not much better. It is incredibly challenging to find men who are in the same place in life. Very disenchanting.

Paul Davis
Paul Davis

Men don't need to read shitty articles about what it takes to be a man. They already know.

Jill Lorraine
Jill Lorraine

This is so helpful!! Thank you! I've been dating “boy" men way too often. I saw my past self in this list, too, and a few more changes I'm making as well. I've been too much of a “girl" woman.

Melissa Robertson
Melissa Robertson

Paul, I'm so appreciative of my man, Jason Crist. He is always there for me, always telling & showing how much he loves & appreciates me. I cannot put into words how much I love him for being himself, always kind, always taking action instead of useless words. I'm a very lucky girl in so many ways because not only do I have a best friend, I have the man that most dream of. Thank you for giving women the word on what they deserve. And it goes both ways, I hope he knows & feels how much I love him.

John Vanore
John Vanore

Yeah, some boys grow up to be Caitlyn.

LaDonna McCollum
LaDonna McCollum

I'll read the article later but I already know I've got a boy. His momma gonna have to deal with this headache b/c I can't even.

Sonya Cook
Sonya Cook

I just recently packed up and left a boy whose childish antics were intolerable. He taught me what I can never accept in a man and to expect and require more from MEN

Shantae Charles
Shantae Charles

16. Boys date. Men court. You're not on the menu. You are the option to be explored.

Peace Aislinn
Peace Aislinn

Yea It was the cover charge I didn't drink. I order a drink on a first date, but sip it slow. I do that to guage if my date has a drinking problem. Also, it's wise to keep your wits n listen

Tamieka M. Augusta
Tamieka M. Augusta

Great Read! Some (NOT I, values instilled by my grandparents) may even consider this set of standards "old fashioned"..... I agree wholeheartedly with every single point. ☺

Sarah A McCallum
Sarah A McCallum

Nice work Paul... And courageous calling all males (men and boys!) to account.

Shakira S Scott
Shakira S Scott

Thanks @Paul Carrick Brunson! I'm back in the dating game and I've met so many grown boys it's a shame!!!!! My husband passed away 6 years ago this month. And I haven't met a MAN Like him since!!! Will the real men please come forth

Corrine Vesey
Corrine Vesey

\U0001f64c\U0001f3fe amen...real men are worth the wait \U0001f60a

Deana Besala
Deana Besala

Corrine Vesey Taqui Dufelmeier you're welcome.

Randall Cognomen
Randall Cognomen

Like this except the text v. Call. I dated a that called me immature for not wanting to talk over the phone....I had a job where all day long I'd have to listen to our incarcerated criminal clients complain, whenever Id talk to him over the phone he would complain about his job. Hence, my avoiding phone calls.

Nostaw Aldrean
Nostaw Aldrean

Mash dem corn Paul, mash dem corn... \U0001f613\U0001f613\U0001f613\U0001f613

Angela Kelley
Angela Kelley

Oooh wee Paul! You've really stepped on some toes with this one! Thank you! (I'd really like to tag some boys that I know that are pretending to be men but I'll resist the temptation)

Peace Aislinn
Peace Aislinn

Yes A man does pick up the tab. I haven't found any men since I started dating a couple months ago. It seems the over 45 men have forgotten this. One date, who drove a Porsche and had designer shoes, left me scrambling to pay my $6 tab at a club while he waited outside. Then asked to see me again BYE FELIX

MieshaNichelle Avery
MieshaNichelle Avery

I have a MAN, however I hate talking on the phone. Lol so I don't really count that one.

Lavare Nash
Lavare Nash

Xavier Mahogany, I believe Brunson is addressing maturity versus immaturity--not if your sex organ is wholly male. Most "men" are deemed so because of their age, but they act like middle/high school or even college-aged boys-- afraid to make adult decisions. Basically, you've said the same thing as Brunson. Men read between the lines and acknowledge the problem then work to fix it. Boys get stuck on semantics. <coughs> Which one are you?

Lavare Nash
Lavare Nash

Xavier Mahogany, I believe the author is addressing maturity versus immaturity not if your sex organs is wholly male or wholly female. Most "men" are deemed so because of their age, but they act like middle school, high school, or even college-aged boys afraid to make adult decisions.  Basically, you've said the same thing as Brunson. Men read between the lines and acknowledge the problem then work to fix it. Boys get stuck on semantics. <coughs> Which one are you?

Gurmeen Kaur
Gurmeen Kaur

Gurinderpreet Singh :) my man♥ yew fit all the categories

Melissa Brigden
Melissa Brigden

Currently extricating myself from a boy masquerading as a man. This helps to further show I am spot on in moving on.

Melanie Lowe
Melanie Lowe

Just 15?? Come on now...you hit some major ones yesss; however, when you first meet a man or even start dating there are huge red flags to look out for and you mentioned some in this article...I think the quicker we as women recognize these characteristics, the quicker we can throw in our towel and burn those fed flags to ashes! Intuition and that internal 6th sense will never stir you wrong!

Adrienne Dixon
Adrienne Dixon

Kia Allen, yesssss! I love it. Looks like someone definitely is dating a MAN!

Patricia Howard
Patricia Howard

Well i guess i better keep on his ass to make him a great man ! =)