What Would You Do if Your Husband Hid a Friendship With a Woman?

I received the following question recently. I posted it on Facebook (with permission) because I knew many others had gone or are going through something similar.

What would you do if your husband hid

I asked my Facebook community “What do YOU think the wife should do?”

My husband has a female friend that he started a friendship with while we were dating about 2 years ago. They hid their friendship from me and I had to find out about it through phone records and text messages. I was extremely uncomfortable when I found all this out and there were secrets and lies involved. He asked for forgiveness and I gave it, but he did not stop being friends with the girl, and basically I had to live with it. Ever since then my trust in him has suffered and I am still not comfortable with their friendship, even though he has backed off from her a lot. But the connection they have is still there, because every time they get around each other his attention is on her, they laugh a lot and share a lot of the same interests and have great chemistry. I feel so left out when they’re around each other, but my husband reassures me that it’s just a friendship, and nothing more. I’m skeptical of it all because they initially hid their friendship from me but I have tried to move past it. However, she goes to our church ( which he invited here there, before I came there with him) and she is also involved in a social/hobby group we’re in. So there is no running from it and I feel helpless and uncomfortable and we’re just in our first year of marriage. What should I do?”

This single question sparked 400+ comments on Facebook. The responses drastically ranged. Some of the most popular comments include:

“She needs to demand her husband cut the woman out of their life.”

“The wife should tell her husband she is going to invite her husbands “friend” to lunch and the women should have a conversation.”

“Drop his ass.”

“She should get a male friend of her own and see how her husband likes it.” 

So what do you think the wife should do?

Before you answer, let me give you one last opinion. I reached out to my good friend Esther Boykin, a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (please be sure to follow her on twitter and visit her website).

Here’s how Esther suggested the situation be handled

No matter how you slice it, it’s clear that your husband’s friendship with this other woman is something that you want to end.  And I agree with you that it should… immediately.  Any relationship, regardless of how innocent, that undermines the sense of trust and safety in your marriage is a problem.  It’s time to draw a line and probably to seek some additional support.

The trust in your relationship was broken but it’s possible to repair those unresolved feelings of hurt and betrayal.  I believe that, with work, couples can move forward from situations like yours feeling stronger and more connected than before. The first step is make your feelings known and to set clear boundaries.

 So often newlyweds are uncertain and afraid to set limits and create rules for their marriage.  But boundaries help you build a strong foundation as a couple- by talking about your feelings and expectations, and being brave enough to draw some lines.

It’s time to take a deep breath, own your feelings, and trust your gut.  Tell your husband that his friendship with this woman is hurting your marriage and that you want him to end all contact with her.  Be clear about the way it makes you feel, your fears about what it might develop into (or that it has already moved past ‘just friends’), and how it is effecting your relationship.  As his wife, you’re entitled to make that request and if he is unwilling or unable to respect that, then it’s definitely time to call in some professional help.  Find a qualified couples therapist or pastor to work with you to resolve this issue and begin to create healthy boundaries around your marriage.

At the end of the day the question is not whether his friendship is ‘wrong’ or what this woman’s motives might be.  The real issue is whether he is willing to put your comfort level above everything else and make a commitment to truly repair the trust that he has broken.

So you know the question and have an array of advice from the community to an expert. What do YOU think the wife should do? 

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About Paul C. Brunson
Mentor, Entrepreneur, & Television Host. My goal is to help you live your best life; in love and professionally. I’m the world’s most influential matchmaker, founded and exited three businesses, host two television shows, spent nearly a decade working directly for a billionaire, and share my experiences by mentoring and coaching thousands of people.

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1011 comments
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alexanderkate19712
alexanderkate19712

Do you suspect your spouse of cheating, are you being overly paranoid or seeing signs of infidelity…Then he sure is cheating: I was in that exact same position when I was referred to HYPERHACKTIVE1@GMAIL.COM through my best friend carmella who helped me hack into my boyfriend’s phone, it was like a miracle when he helped me clone my boyfriend’s phone and I got first-hand information from his phone. Now I get all his incoming and outgoing text messages, emails, call logs, web browsing history, photos and videos, instant messengers(facebook,whatsapp,bbm,IG etc) , GPS locations, phone tap to get live transmissions on all phone conversations..if you need help contact him on HYPERHACKTIVE1 at GMAIL dot COM

CardenasNaida
CardenasNaida

My name is Mr Cardenas,my wife was having affair with a senior secretary in her office. I love this woman so much that i would not want to share her with any body. i told her to retire from the job and i would take care of all her needs  but she would take it because she is been embraced by everybody in her office, this normally leads to quarrel every-time. i tried all i can to please her and she will promise to be good , some days later she will turn back to her normal way.
 i was nearly loosing out, i could not focus in my job, my whole life was full of sorrow and i was thinking i should kill the other man my self and put an end to all this until i saw a testimony from a blog on how DR EDIONWE could cast a love spell to bring lovers back no matter what is behind the disappointment. so i decided to write him via email. edionwesolutiontemple@gmail.com and now all my wishes are exactly as i wanted. She told me everything that has happened secretly in the past and i forgave her as DR EDIONWE instructed me to and she loves me and care for me as i ever wanted. i know there are many spells that do not work but i want to assure all you out there no matter what you have been trough to have faith and believe that this is the final solution to your problem.
 Even if my job is taking most of my time, the little free time i have , i will share the good news to everyone in the world because i know that with love brings happiness and hope for a long life.

smithalves14
smithalves14

Thank you for making my wish true Prophet Osula Ogwa I was totally devastated when john left me. It was like all my world vanishing into sorrow and pain. But your kind words when I first emailed you gave me hope. I felt how sincere, honest and authentic you were from your first email. I know it sounds weird but out of all the casters I contacted, you were the only one to give me that impression of being so true and caring. More than your words, it’s the fantastic work you accomplished for me that I will keep in mind. You brought my husband back and you made all my wishes come true. He’s now loyal, pays attention to me, he offers me flowers every Sunday, and we often go out at the cinema or at the restaurant. I will be forever thankful for turning my life from hell to heaven!” norman from USA. You can contact Prophet Osula Ogwa for any help via email: ayelalashrine@gmail.com

hillarystripe
hillarystripe

You think your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse is cheating on you?….dont just jump into conclusion and ruin your relationship without proof that he or she is actually cheating on you….contact treythehacker@gmail.com to know the whole truth. I almost ruined my marriage with a man i love so much because i noticed that he was hanging out with friends alot and he comes back home very late at night. I got so jealous because i knew the kind of friends he has and i began to think that they would have influenced him into flirting with other girls. So i told a friend of mine about it and she told me she has a friend whose husband is an ethical hacker and he has been tested and trusted by some of her friends having similar issues so i made contact with him and told him my problems. To my surprise, he helped me hack into my husbands facebook, whatsapp, phone calls, text messages and even deleted text messages and then i found out that i was wrong about my husband being flirty but that he was planning something big and lovely for our marriage with the help of treythehacker@gmail.com….He is fast and very reliable

shelly177moor
shelly177moor

Hello everyone, My name is Shelly. I am from Wyoming Living in Berlin, Germany. Three years ago I thought I was madly in love.... turn's out the guy just used me got me pregnant and walked out of my life, this is a Man i cannot even lose my eyes if i don't see him, it happen so fast that he is now everything to me. next year I was suppose to meet my parents because i have already told them about him. 

Last Month Things got complicated and i ran out of ideas until i met a friend on Facebook who advised me on how i could get my lover back and everything back to normal. i was given a powerfull spell cast email address and phone number; spellpowerstemple@yahoo.com, +27624840126 i was advice to meet this powerful spiritualist if i ever want to be happy and get my Man back. I contacted this spell caster and he assured me of having him back in 24 hours, it sounds weird to me at first because i haven't done this before. I was even more skeptical when i knew i have to come up with demands to get the spell done and effective,  but my dear, to my greatest surprise, I was started seeing results even before 12 hours. The spell actually worked and brought Jakwel back to me as much as i expected. That spell temple is great. The spiritualist is a wizard, I saw him at night in my dreams, the time was 1:45am. The man spell is genuine. Our plans of meet my parents is still on and hopefully we would get married. We have a baby girl and we are still happy and will be. I am honestly grateful for the best spell result I got..... If you wanna talk to me, email me at mtrshelly@gmail.com

allinsonangie
allinsonangie

I really don’t know much about this scam thing and at the same time, no one wants to be on the losing side . But i just came across a good Private Investigator  who can also hack as he helped me hack my boyfriends text messages, Whatsapp, Facebook, Instagram messages remotely.. You don’t have to touch his phone while you have access to his conversations through the software he bought and install remotely on my phone, i dont know how he did this but i think he's perfect at it....contact him at jonnycyberghost@gmail.com..Tell him Allinson referred you, then you can thank me later. God Bless.

MyersElizabethAnne
MyersElizabethAnne

I want to let the world know about Doctor paul the Great spell caster that brought back my husband to me when i thought all hope was lost. Doctor paul used his powerful spell to put a smile on my face by bringing back my man with his spell, at first i thought i was dreaming when my husband came back to me on his knees begging me to forgive him and accept him back and even since then he loves me more than i ever expected so i made a vow to my self the i will let the World know about Doctor paul because he is a God on earth. Do you have problems in your relationship ? have your partner broke up with you and you still love and want him back ? Do you have problem with your finance ? or do you need help of any kind then contact Doctor paul today for i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you just as he helped me. Doctor paul email is: salvationlovespell@gmail.com

ZoeNewbold
ZoeNewbold

Hello, i'm a tech vulneraility expert so i'm going to save you all the stress of looking for a legit professional hacker. His contact is globalview.hacker AT gmail DOT com and he's the best hacker i know. I've worked with him several times and he has never disappointed me. He does different hacks like upgrading credit score, clearing bad credit report, social media account hack, email account hack, phone hack, fake diploma, various spy hacks, bank account hack e.t.c. You can tell him i referred you, he'll help. Thank me later. 


PatriciaMills1
PatriciaMills1

Contact rob @ robharris1st@gmail.com for any hacking job, he is good and reliable. He helped me track a cunartist I was dating online, this fake lover scammed me for over 6 months and collected over $6000 from me. Thanks to rob I was able to get his location. I reported him to the police and gave his location. He is behind bars now thanks to rob.

KimMustard
KimMustard

Hello everyone, need hacking services?Be warned, most of these so called hackers here are impostors, I know how real hackers work, they never advertise themselves in such a credulous manner and they are always discrete. I have been ripped off so many times so from experience I know pretty much how they work..Eventually my zeal to solve my issue paid off when a friend of mine introduced me to his hacker friend,his professionalism is top class..He hacks from destroying data and evidence against you,changing school and university grades,hacking into your cheating spouse phone..Give him a shot and thank me later..My name is Nora..Drop him a line "917-563-8226" or mail him: cyberhackguru@gmail.com

CryslePaul
CryslePaul

Life is all about good and bad experience

Life is all about good and bad experience. It was all good and lovely when i met joelly, she was a good business woman until things become rough for her and her business empire started liquidating. I was a very courageous and hardworking man so i decided to sell my inheritance to assist . We both struggle together and built the business world again. This time around the business was growing from strength to strength. I was surprise one Sunday evening when she came home with her secretary and told me that we cannot continue with this pretense called love. I was shocked and heart broken, i was in a friend, house for three weeks frustrated until i met Fernando my old friend at the supermarket, he directed to me to Dr saka. I contacted saka and he told me that Joelly was been manipulated by some spiritual power and he told me to provide some items which he is going to use to destroy the evil spirit. I never believe in voodoo but i had to give him a trial. To my greatest surprise, Joelly called and started apologizing 2 days after i sent Dr. Saka the email. I am very happy and will continue to be happy for the good work the Saka has done in my life. Problems are been solved when good people like Saka  are on this planet, please contact him through ultimatespearcast@gmail.com if you need any support in any problems in life. I love Dr Saka ... :)

KnessMindilyn
KnessMindilyn

I want to share my testimony and my happiness with you all in this site, last year my husband left me for another woman in his working place and he abandon me and my 2kids, everything was so hard for me because i love him so much, so i saw the testimonies of Great Mutaba he has been helping ladies in getting there husband back so i contacted him and he help me to cast a return spell for my husband and in 2 days my husband left the other woman and he come back to me with so much love and caring. i will never forget this help that Great Mutaba gave to me and my children.if you are here you need help to get you lover back you can contact him through this email greatmutaba@yahoo.com  i am proud to be on his testimony.

mariannawithmoore
mariannawithmoore

Hello everyone! I want to publicly appreciate the effort of maskyanonymous001@gmail.com for helping me hack my partner's phone without access to the phone and my partner did not figure or suspect anything,i want to recommend him for you all, he is fast and highly reliable he can also hack into any database, delete record, improve credit score, spy on whatsapp, text, phone,emails, as long as it's hack...Tell him Marianna referred you...he would be willing to help you contact; maskyanonymous001@gmail.com