What Would You Do if Your Husband Hid a Friendship With a Woman?

I received the following question recently. I posted it on Facebook (with permission) because I knew many others had gone or are going through something similar.

What would you do if your husband hid

I asked my Facebook community “What do YOU think the wife should do?”

My husband has a female friend that he started a friendship with while we were dating about 2 years ago. They hid their friendship from me and I had to find out about it through phone records and text messages. I was extremely uncomfortable when I found all this out and there were secrets and lies involved. He asked for forgiveness and I gave it, but he did not stop being friends with the girl, and basically I had to live with it. Ever since then my trust in him has suffered and I am still not comfortable with their friendship, even though he has backed off from her a lot. But the connection they have is still there, because every time they get around each other his attention is on her, they laugh a lot and share a lot of the same interests and have great chemistry. I feel so left out when they’re around each other, but my husband reassures me that it’s just a friendship, and nothing more. I’m skeptical of it all because they initially hid their friendship from me but I have tried to move past it. However, she goes to our church ( which he invited here there, before I came there with him) and she is also involved in a social/hobby group we’re in. So there is no running from it and I feel helpless and uncomfortable and we’re just in our first year of marriage. What should I do?”

This single question sparked 400+ comments on Facebook. The responses drastically ranged. Some of the most popular comments include:

“She needs to demand her husband cut the woman out of their life.”

“The wife should tell her husband she is going to invite her husbands “friend” to lunch and the women should have a conversation.”

“Drop his ass.”

“She should get a male friend of her own and see how her husband likes it.” 

So what do you think the wife should do?

Before you answer, let me give you one last opinion. I reached out to my good friend Esther Boykin, a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (please be sure to follow her on twitter and visit her website).

Here’s how Esther suggested the situation be handled

No matter how you slice it, it’s clear that your husband’s friendship with this other woman is something that you want to end.  And I agree with you that it should… immediately.  Any relationship, regardless of how innocent, that undermines the sense of trust and safety in your marriage is a problem.  It’s time to draw a line and probably to seek some additional support.

The trust in your relationship was broken but it’s possible to repair those unresolved feelings of hurt and betrayal.  I believe that, with work, couples can move forward from situations like yours feeling stronger and more connected than before. The first step is make your feelings known and to set clear boundaries.

 So often newlyweds are uncertain and afraid to set limits and create rules for their marriage.  But boundaries help you build a strong foundation as a couple- by talking about your feelings and expectations, and being brave enough to draw some lines.

It’s time to take a deep breath, own your feelings, and trust your gut.  Tell your husband that his friendship with this woman is hurting your marriage and that you want him to end all contact with her.  Be clear about the way it makes you feel, your fears about what it might develop into (or that it has already moved past ‘just friends’), and how it is effecting your relationship.  As his wife, you’re entitled to make that request and if he is unwilling or unable to respect that, then it’s definitely time to call in some professional help.  Find a qualified couples therapist or pastor to work with you to resolve this issue and begin to create healthy boundaries around your marriage.

At the end of the day the question is not whether his friendship is ‘wrong’ or what this woman’s motives might be.  The real issue is whether he is willing to put your comfort level above everything else and make a commitment to truly repair the trust that he has broken.

So you know the question and have an array of advice from the community to an expert. What do YOU think the wife should do? 

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About Paul C. Brunson
Mentor, Entrepreneur, & Television Host. My goal is to help you live your best life; in love and professionally. I’m the world’s most influential matchmaker, founded and exited three businesses, host two television shows, spent nearly a decade working directly for a billionaire, and share my experiences by mentoring and coaching thousands of people.

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1026 comments
abigail678
abigail678

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FayTaylor


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LaurenBrice

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RuthRaymond

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sophiaolivia014

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OdogboSpell

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AlexHenry3

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Gina Jake

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ConnieEvans

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anjaminder5


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farida44


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KathieEvans

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RoseMatthew

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VargaDaniella


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janetpatk

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SherriParker

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Jamie Carlton

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Daura

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BryanAllen1

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PeterPacker

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NathanRichie2

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cassandrahughs

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JamesKors

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DorisMelody

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DorisMelody
DorisMelody

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jimmyloof47

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AlexDan1
AlexDan1

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Thank you for taking time to read

UramShonna
UramShonna

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adamfeigeles5
adamfeigeles5

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Gina Jake
Gina Jake

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adamfeigeles5
adamfeigeles5

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DavidBuckley
DavidBuckley

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lydiacno
lydiacno



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johnclarke123
johnclarke123

Ok i know some days ago i said i was going to confirm if globalview.hacker (at) gmail (dot) com was a legit hacker and if he wasn't i was going to publicly disgrace him in every media else i was going to praise him in every media. Well i'm a man of my word and i must say I feel ashamed to have doubted him. He's the best there is...i mean he hacked 3 websites for me, a facebook account, and a bank account (transferring a lot of money to my account), can you imagine that?! he hacked a bank account!!...i'm just so happy right now...So i want to say a very big thank you to  globalview.hacker (at) gmail (dot) com for the good work and also that i'm sorry for doubting him. So to everyone, If you ever need any hack done, phone hack,website hack, whatsapp hack, bank account hack   e.t.c contact  globalview.hacker (at) gmail (dot) com plus he's really affordable. Thank me later


katherinachia200
katherinachia200

I was really missing my wife when she left me for someone else because i cheated on her. I was weak to take care of some situations and i let her slip my arms. I had to talk to my partner at the office who recently got her husband back. She told me to get in touch with Akim who helped her get her husband back with a love spell. I was very sure of this because Akim has helped my partner get her husband back. So i called Dr Akim and told him i lost my lover and wanted her back. He encouraged me and told me to be happy. He did his thing and told me my wife will be back in 45 hours. I waited for that time and my wife called me and told me that she has forgiven me and ready to take me back in her life. Since then, my wife and i have been enjoying our marriage with our lovely 4 kids. I am very grateful to Akim for what he has done for me. I'd advice you to ask him for help if you have any problem on your relationship and some other aspects of life. His email is prayerstosavemarriage@hotmail.com :)


johnclarke123
johnclarke123

Ok i know some days ago i said i was going to confirm if globalview.hacker (at) gmail (dot) com was a legit hacker and if he wasn't i was going to publicly disgrace him in every media else i was going to praise him in every media. Well i'm a man of my word and i must say I feel ashamed to have doubted him. He's the best there is...i mean he hacked 3 websites for me, a facebook account, and a bank account (transferring a lot of money to my account), can you imagine that?! he hacked a bank account!!...i'm just so happy right now...So i want to say a very big thank you to  globalview.hacker (at) gmail (dot) com for the good work and also that i'm sorry for doubting him. So to everyone, If you ever need any hack done, phone hack,website hack, whatsapp hack, bank account hack   e.t.c contact  globalview.hacker (at) gmail (dot) com plus he's really affordable. Thank me later


withney smith
withney smith

If you are trying to catch your cheating spouse in the act, I strongly recommend you contact this awesome hacker that helped me monitor my husband’s phone when I was gathering evidence during the divorce. I got virtually every information he has been hiding over the months easily on my own phone: the spy app diverted all his whatsapp, facebook, text messages, sent and received through the phone: I also got his phone calls and deleted messages. he could not believe his eyes when he saw the evidence because he had no idea he was hacked..
Contact : computerguru146@gmail.com, +17144082033

CarmellaJohnson44
CarmellaJohnson44

If you have concerns over your employee's honesty, improving your credit score or doubt your partner's sincerity I am certain we can help you get direct access into their phones and computers easily within a couple of hours. We are a group of certified grayhat hackers registered ethically under the institute with immaculate records.

contact us at: HYPERHACKTIVE1@GMAIL.COM

Gina Jake
Gina Jake

Sincerely speaking, i always thought i could never find a legitimate hacker until a friend introduced me to this Russian hacker who helped hack into my ex husbands facebook, whatsapp and sms under 8hours.He is a professional who also track calls,changing school grades,clearing online records(bad driving and criminal records) to mention a few.
This is for those who really need help. Contact: Whittehathacker@gmail.com


DavidScott5
DavidScott5

if you are in need of a hacker to hack into
1-DATABASE HACK
2-WHATSAPP HACK
3-WEBSITE HACK
4-TRACKING CALLS
5-PHONE CLONE
6-FACEBOOK HACK
7-CHANGE SCHOOL GRADE
8-ONLINE RECORDS CHANGES
9-BANK ACCOUNT HACK
and many more contact jeajamhacker@gmail.com he is fast and cheap tell him i refereed you to him am sure he will help you.

ConnieEvans
ConnieEvans

My husband and I had always manged to stay friendly after our divorce, but I always wanted to get back together with him, and he was never sure. So, I thought it was about time i make him sure! All i took is to go to the internet and i requested for a specific love help, then i found out about Dr Lawrence.The spell is working and guess what? My ex is soon to be my husband again! This is a miracle. Thank you, Thank you Dr Lawrence.You can contact him on drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail.com he can be of great help to you

heatherkeller548
heatherkeller548


My relationship of 3 years was sinking and i was devastated. My fiancee broke from me and I got no explanations from him. for me to get him back, i have to find a solution, I went to 3 different spell casters they all failed to bring back my lover, I really wasn’t sure anymore if spells were real so as i was making a search one morning i saw some great reviews about manifestspellcast@gmail.com, I was a bit skeptical at first but a friend asked me to try and see what happens, so I requested for a love spell from this spell caster, he said he will take his time to do a love spell that will bring my man back to me, after some days my lover reconciled with me, It felt good to have my lover back, when he returned he said he would never leave me again. I saw him transform from a guy who wanted out to a guy who always wanted to be with me. now my lover is more open, with Dr. Todd I know love spell is real, Thanks to Dr. Todd for getting me my man back. I appreciate all his time, effort, and energy he puts during the spell cast.


JennyNarely
JennyNarely

if you are suspecting your spouse to be cheating on you and you want to

find out contact jeajamhacker@gmail.com he will help you hack into your

spouse phone or computer with out your spouse knowing try jeajamhacker@gmail.com 


MieshaAlexandria
MieshaAlexandria

Hello everyone!I had seen so many recommendations about blackhathacker@keemail.me,so I contacted him to help spy on my spouse cell phone. He was really efficient and now I have access to everything including hacking into phones and intercepting text messages,getting mail passwords,and and I get to see all this from my phone without him knowing.Contact:blackhathacker@keemail.me

RoseLockwood2
RoseLockwood2

i'm quite famous in my college now for various reasons which include me hiring a professional hacker to help me change my grades, and also using the same professional hacker to expose my friends boyfriends for what they really were by hacking their phones, granting us access to their phones among other hacks that were really successful. Now everyone has been accusing me of keeping my hacker's identity a secret and being selfish with him. So now i've decided to post about him just this once and don't want to hear anything again about me being selfish. His email address is globalview.hacker at GMAIL dot COM contact him now for all your hack jobs. And you're welcome.


CarmellaJohnson44
CarmellaJohnson44

My cheating ex-wife was very secretive and most women who do cheat usually do so in a well planned and discrete fashion. Making it exceedingly difficult for me to know she's being cuckolded. I was in need of help and I found good reviews of this genius hacker on a blog. I had (HYPERHACKTIVE1@GMAIL.COM) look up her phone for me.
Gaining access to your cheating wife's cell phone is the single most effective method for quickly and indisputably substantiating your suspicions of her affair. I know a lot of men and ladies are out there having similar issues, all you need to do is hit him up at (HYPERHACKTIVE1 at GMAIL dot COM) for all your hacking services.

RoseLockwood2
RoseLockwood2

i'm quite famous in my college now for various reasons which include me hiring a professional hacker to help me change my grades, and also using the same professional hacker to expose my friends boyfriends for what they really were by hacking their phones, granting us access to their phones among other hacks that were really successful. Now everyone has been accusing me of keeping my hacker's identity a secret and being selfish with him. So now i've decided to post about him just this once and don't want to hear anything again about me being selfish. His email address is globalview.hacker@gmail.com contact him now for all your hack jobs. And you're welcome.


SpintexmillsSalesltd
SpintexmillsSalesltd

Life has really be so tough with me ever since I got married. 3months ago I received a sack letter from my working place on my way coming home I got a flat tire I was in short hopeless and helpless I got home my wife was asking me lots of questions that made me more upset and become so much angry and with that anger I threw offensive words at her I couldn’t control my anger. By the time I realize I have hurt we’ve already had fight and she left me because I call her names I was so out of my mind I even tell her she is a bad luck. I have been looking for a way to apology’s  to her that I didn’t mean those words I said  but she wouldn’t listen to me again. I am nothing with her. my love for her, I can’t live without her so I was looking for a solution. I have come across lots of comment about getting your ex back but I wonder if there’d be such powers. So I first contact one, that one didn’t help and I contact another spell caster he was still the same with the one I contacted before. They were just after my money. I gave up on spell caster because I believe there is nothing from them but, still again  I was wrong because the way there is fake on it that’s also there is real on it…when I met up with odogboo he did not just only bring my wife back but he advise me of my mistakes and encourage me indeed, he is a father of understanding that what I figure out about him and I like it…he knows about life and about mankind. He is not just a spiritualist but he is a lord. I contacted odogboospell@gmail.com readers, if you need spiritual help on either financial problem or ex back odogboo is the priest you need to contact he is the real one I have always be wrong but with this I am right . contact him on the his direct email above my comments with your problems and I promise you,, you shall come back with a living testimonies… thanks to you great lord odogboo for bringing my wife back