8 Ways To Put The Romance Back In Your Relationship

8 Ways To Put The Romance Back In Your Relationship

“Love is like a campfire: It may be sparked quickly, and at first the kindling throws out a lot of heat, but it burns out quickly. For long lasting, steady warmth (with delightful bursts of intense heat from time to time), you must carefully tend the fire.” ~ Molleen Matsumura

No matter how perfectly matched you are with your partner, there will be a time when the romance wanes. I recall always hearing stories about the “5 year itch” – a term used to describe when married couples reach an inflection point. Each time I heard about this “itch” I completely dismissed it as a real possibility for my wife and me. After all, we were the “perfect couple” (aligned values, rarely fought, passionate). Then, in what felt like an outer body experience, there my wife and I were in years 5 and 7 of our marriage going through what felt like hurricane Katrina.

I’m happy to tell you we survived (we recently celebrated 12 years of marriage) and in many ways are stronger and better connected than ever.  The lessons I learned can be applied to any couple (married or not) seeking to regain that spark. The following 8 methods will help you to regain the romance in your relationship.

 

1) Evaluate Values

I often talk about the importance of aligned values when searching for the “perfect partner” – the same concept applies to maintaining interest in a lover, long-term. When two people grow apart, typically what’s happening is the values they originally shared, are no longer aligned. Now I’m not saying that when the romance in the relationship fades, it’s due to growing apart, but this topic of ‘misaligned values’ must be visited. It’s unhealthy to pursue “romantic enhancement tactics” if your values are out of sync – that’s like handing someone a Band-Aid for a broken arm.

 

2) Identify Love Language and Deliver It

This is an important step but rarely executed. Dr. Gary Chapman’s “Five Love Languages” book really should be required reading for everyone interested in having a romantic relationship. The book describes the various love languages we all ‘speak.’ Knowing your partner’s love language is fundamental in a relationship because while you can love someone with every fiber in your body, unless you are conveying that love in a way they can understand it, they’ll never truly feel loved (and desired).

 

3) Be Adventurous

This is one area that the biological research is clear. Doing novel things together, as a couple, will increase dopamine levels in the brain. Romantic connection is largely connected with dopamine, a chemical known to affect emotions. Unique activities include everything from trying new restaurants, taking up a new hobby or traveling to a destination you have never been together. For a major dose of dopamine, add a new position or location to your sex life.

 

4) Consistency

“Don’t start nothin’ you ain’t willin to maintain” is another bit of brilliant pre-marital advice I often heard. Committed relationships require “sticktoitiveness.” When you think back to the beginning of the relationship, there were dates, flowers, appreciation, compliments, sweet gestures and messages. You also most likely touched a lot more. I’m talking about all types of touching – hand holding, hugging, caressing and cuddling, as well as more intimate touch and sex.  Bring back those early relationship days by making time for romantic gestures, DAILY.  And if you find that you don’t know what to do, don’t be afraid to ask your partner what they need and want.

 

5) The Element of Surprise

An unexpected gesture or gift is always welcome as long as it is something you know your partner will be interested in (which underscores the importance of listening to them to determine their desires).  Don’t you love the look on a loved one’s face when you’ve presented them with something unexpected and kind?  There’s almost more enjoyment for you than for the person on the receiving end.

 

6) “Me” Time

Spending lots of time together is key to maintaining a relationship, but there is such thing as too much of a good thing.  Allow yourself and your partner time away to rejuvenate for the sake of the individual and the relationship. This could be a girls night out, regularly scheduled gym activity, or simply curling up in a room with just you and your favorite book. Using this time properly will build up your foundation of appreciation and trust, thus strengthening your bond.

 

7) Date Night

Maybe you’ve noticed that your schedules are so hectic these days that there’s hardly time to sit at the table together and have breakfast.  Just as you make time for important meetings at work, do it at home. Now that my wife and I have a young son, a night out on the town is hard to come by, but we haven’t let that ruin our date night.  Instead, our typical date night consists of Red Stripe and a mean game of Boggle – our favorite game!

 

8) Include a Professional

Therapy is a word that is scary to many couples. However, be aware that counseling does not break couples up or even hold them together. Couples counseling is about helping the couple communicate better and understand what is going on. When it’s just too frightening to even bring issues up — from sex to money, or even annoying little habits that are being blown out of proportion, a therapist’s job is to help the couple become clear about their issues and to help them understand what they are truly talking about.

 

For discussion: What other ideas do you have on keeping the romance alive?

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About Paul C. Brunson
Mentor, Entrepreneur, & Television Host. My goal is to help you live your best life; in love and professionally. I’m the world’s most influential matchmaker, founded and exited three businesses, host two television shows, spent nearly a decade working directly for a billionaire, and share my experiences by mentoring and coaching thousands of people.
17 comments
farida44
farida44


holy prophet is one spiritual man i would forever give regards to, he brought my husband back to me after my old friend tried to blackmail me to take my husband and made him divorce me with wrong accusation. But this holy prophet did a prayer that resolved issues with my husband and push the other lady far away from him. I am happy to have my husband back, this prophet is great. his email is holyprophet8@gmail.com, he really surprised me

MaryKings
MaryKings

When my spouse left me, I deepened my relationship with Dr. Lawrence and was praying for marriage restoration. I then realized that I was the prodigal, as I had left my first husband and had married another. I was given the opportunity by Dr. Lawrence to be obedient. He took the obstacles out of the way. On Christmas my loving husband proposed to me and on January 1, I was remarried to my true covenant spouse. Thank you so much, Dr. Lawrence, for all you do to help restore all of us prodigals Drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail.com

macarenacecilia247
macarenacecilia247

am so happy to share my experience and testimony here about my happy family
which suddenly got broken. am Cecilia from Ireland i had a nice family; i
was married for 8 years to my husband and all of a sudden, another woman
came into the picture the man that used to love me before started picking
quarrels with me he was so abusive that when i try to tell him the truth
about how i feel and what he is doing is not right for the family, he gets
very angry and hits me with any thing he sees around him. but i still loved
him with all my heart despite all he has done to me and i wanted him back
at all cost. then he filled for a divorce my whole life was tearing apart
and i didn't know what to do ...... he moved out of the house and abandoned
me and the kids. so a very close friend of mine told me about trying a
spiritual means to get my husband back and introduced me to a spell caster
? at first i was surprised and  scared so i decided to give it a try
reluctantly.......although i dint believe in all those things, then when he
did the special prayers, at first he ordered me to get a few things which
will be used for casting the spell and offered to his ancient Gods. after
the incantations and special prayers he then said ''thank him and go its
done''. i was so surprised, after two days my husband came back and was
pleading for my forgiveness, he had realized his mistakes, i just couldn't
believe it, anyway we are back together now and we are now one big happy
family we use to be. his contact address was drayenispelltemple@gmail.com,
or www.drayenispelltemple.webs.com his
spells is for a better life again.

TheresaAddison1
TheresaAddison1


My case is different for i know what Prophet akeem did for me this 2017. I was heart broken by my husband because i discovered that he has been cheating on me with his mistress and he filled a divorce on me December last year and i was confused on what to do. I searched for help around from spiritual helpers but all was to no avail not until i was referred to Prophet akeem by a co-worker who told me that he can help me out on my situation. I contacted him and explained what am passing through and he said to me that my case is different that if others are complaining about their marriages that mine will be different because i will keep on rejoicing about my marriage as far i have made contact with him. I did all what he told me to do and my husband came back to me within 12 to 16 hours and we are living in peace and harmony again. Viewers reading this article can E-mail him at (Prophetakeem@gmail.com  ) for more info view his Website:http://Prophetakeem.webs.com/

RuzannaSander
RuzannaSander

.I feel very lucky and blessed that Drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail.com was able to turn my marriage around like this with his powerful spell. My husband used to spend as much time as he could away from home with other women. Since he cast the love spell on him, My husband is now so in love with me and committed to our marriage than before. its so funny that my husband had not go out for weeks now!

sirbanks112
sirbanks112

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elizabethsam
elizabethsam


A THING THAT KEPT ME SAD ALL DAY OF MY LIFE,MY HUSBAND LEFT ME AFTER 8 YEARS IN MARRIAGE,IT ALL STARTED WHEN HE TRAVELLED,BEFORE WHENEVER HE TRAVEL HE WILL LET ME KNOW WHERE HE IS GOING BUT SURPRISING THIS TIME HE HAD NOT CALL ME FOR ALMOST 2 WEEKS THEN I WAS SO WORRIED I TRIED TO CALL BUT HE WILL NOT PICK MY CALLS SO I TRIED TO USE ANOTHER PERSON LINE TO CALL HIM IF HE WILL PICK THE CALL,SURPRISING MY HUSBAND PICK THE CALL AS HE HEAR MY VOICE HE JUST ENDED THE CALL I TRIED TO CALL AGAIN IT WAS A WOMAN VOICE THAT ANSWER ME SAYING I SHOULD NOT DISTURB HER HUSBAND,SO I WAS SO CONFUSE BECAUSE I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO AND HE NEVER ACTED THIS WAY SINCE WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER I TRY TO LOCATE ALL OF HIS FRIENDS TO BEG HIM FOR ME FOR THE SAKE OF OUR DAUGHTER WHO IS 5 YEARS OLD (PRECIOUS) BUT ALL IN VAIN,THAT MAKE ME SEARCH FOR HELP IN THE INTERNET BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN HEARING ABOUT SPELL CASTERS WHICH CAN BRIGHT ABOUT LOST LOVER,I COME ACROSS ALOT OF SPELL CASTERS BUT NO ONE WORK AFTER I HAVE PAID A HUGE AMOUNT OF MONEY,BUT I NEVER REST BECAUSE I KNOW THAT I WILL HAVE MY HUSBAND BACK OME DAY,ONE DAY ON FACEBOOK I WAS JUST CHECKING UPDATES THEN I SAW A PAGE FULL WITH ALOT OF TESTIMONIES ON HOW THEY GOT THEIR LOVER BACK,SOME GOT A MIRACLE JOB AND LOT MORE SO I DECIDED TO CONTACT THIS SPELL CASTER IF HE CAN HELP ME GET MY HUSBAND BACK,THEN HE REPLY ME AND SAID I SHOULD SEND MY DETAILS AND THE ONE OF MY HUSBAND SO THAT HE CAN PRAY FOR ME,AFTER I SEND IT HE TELL ME TO BE PATIENT AND AFTER SOME CHAT AND DISCUSION HE SEND ME SOME ITEMS FOR ME TO BUY FOR THE ITEMS I WAS SO SCARE IF THIS IS NOT A SCAM BECAUSE THAT IS HOW THE ONES DO WHICH I MET BEFORE,BUT I CROSS MY MIND AND SEND HIM THE FEE BECAUSE I KNOW THAT ONE DAY I MUST GET MY HUSBAND BACK,SO AFTER HE HAS DONE WITH THE SPELL HE TELLS ME THAT I WLL RECEIVE A CALL FROM MY HUSBAND I WAS SO CONFUSE BECAUSE MY HUSBAND DONT WANT TO PICK MY CALLS NEITHER WILL HE CALL ME BUT I HAVE SICK TO WHAT THE PROPHET SAID AND STILL PRAY OVER IT,THE WONDERFUL THING IN ABOUT 11:30 AM, I GOT A CALL PICKING THE CALL IT WAS MY HUSBAND VOICE TELLING ME HE HIS SO SORRY FOR HOW LEFT ME AND IS BEGGING ME TO COME BACK,THAT IS HOW ME AND MY FAMILY BECOME PEACE AND MORE TOGETHER I AM THE MOST HAPPIEST WOMAN ON EARTH BECAUSE THE  HELP OF DR BRIGHT,IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A SOLUTIONS IN ANY AREA OF YOUR LIFE YOU NEED TO CONTATC THIS GENUINE SPELL CASTER ON EMAIL:templeoflightandsolutions@gmail.com 

Tacara Phillips
Tacara Phillips


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garylynnsmith58
garylynnsmith58

I would really appreciate some help.  I am a gay man, and I have been with the same partner for 3 years.  I am not sure but I feel that we are drifting apart, and I need to know just how to bring the spark that we had when we first began.  Could someone help?

KellerHeather
KellerHeather


My husband left me to be with another woman. and wanted him back. i was jealous and it made us argue all the time until he vanished away, I was desperate to get him back, I wasted so much time and money on getting my lover back after I have tried almost all possibilities to have him back and nothing worked. I became lonely for 2 years. To make it short, I found a spell caster Manifest Spell by accident. I don’t know how I found him and i cant remember. But, when I first saw the good testimonies about his wonderful work and after reading the Testimonials, I decided I had to try and give it one last shot. After the spells, a miracle happened, my husband came home. it was awesome, anyone who needs help, should email manifestspellcast@yahoo.com He is the best.

ErikaHenriksen
ErikaHenriksen

My husband and I are married for 33 years. We raised 4 children together. Just recently my husband had to go out of state for his job. In that time frame I realized I'm still in love with him since the day we met 35 yrs ago. I decided to try something I haven't done before and I hope he will love it. My daughter just told me about this book and here I am and found this website. So I will try to find the book

herlina
herlina

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Quotes to live by
Quotes to live by

It will not difficult to rekindle the love bonds with your beloved if you know what makes him feel happy, and plan a surprise accordingly.

Essay writer service
Essay writer service

If, you are craving for love, which seems to be missing in your relationship, then you should try to become more closer to your beloved and try to resolve the issues patiently.

Jane234
Jane234

 My name is Bloggs, I want to use this opportunity to tell everyone about Dr Stanley on how he help me reunited with my husband after 2 months of separation. My husband divorce me because he saw another woman in his office and he said to me that he is no longer in love with me anymore and decide to divorce me.I seek for help from the internet where i found a testimony of someone testifying about the goods works of Dr. Stanley and i contact him and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me which i use to get my husband back within 2 days and now my husband is now back with me with so much love and care.If you need his help  also you can Email him via drstanleyspelltemple@hotmail.com or call +2348038139297..

Chris Zwiener
Chris Zwiener

Great article and so glad you mention the "Love Languages." Dr. Chapman's books are brilliant.